New here...A ending...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2009
New here...A ending...
20
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 5:46pm

Hi everyone,
I've made the dreaded leap to EAS..no offense :).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 6:04pm

Touchofgray-

I remember limboland well. It's a soul-sucking, terrible place to be. It literally turns all of its inhabitants into wackos. I used to be the mayor of Limboland. I am sorry you find yourself here.

From the sound of your post, it seems that you aren't ready to end this? It sounds like this is his decision? So what is your game plan tomorrow? If he professes his undying love for you, will you remain a citizen of Limboland? Or have you had enough? Are you ready to end it? This is an endings board, so until you have ended it, there's not much we can tell you. All A's are destined to end. My advice to you is to go there tomorrow and end it yourself. It will be hard, but you must do it. Are you prepared to do that or do you still hold onto the fantasy that you and he will make it? If you do, then this board isn't for you. But, if you are truly ready, you've come to the right place and we will all we can to help you do it and then stick to it.

So, it's on you. What do you want?

Hugs,

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2009
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 6:09pm
Yes...I'm ready to end it, although I'm sad about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 6:24pm

Hello,


Welcome, I think. I only say I think because if you do not know, this is an endings board. Ok, please do not think this is harsh. I am going to go thru your post and say a few things...not trying to hurt you. Just calling it like it is, and you may be thinking, what does she know, she does not know my A partner, she does not know what we have....blah, blah, blash. I hope I do not scare you off. I hope you end your A and stay here and post away. We are an amazing group of women who have been there and done that. We are enders tho, meaning NC. That means no contact. Just needed to give you that info/disclaimer.


You A partner has not seen you in weeks because he is trying to pull away, not cause of work. No one is that busy. He is likely pulling away. And/or

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 6:27pm

jane,


we were writing the same thing at the same time....my my my...we are rubbing off on one another, good that she hears it from two of us. You were a lot nicer. Grey, we both hope we get thru to you...


Jane, thanks for the back up...


Luvin

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 6:29pm

Touchofgray,

First, (((HUGS))) I know you are in a lot of pain and confusion right now. If Jane was the mayor of limboland, I was definitely a permanent resident. It is a terrible place to be. I got a ticket out by having a d-day.

You have to figure out what YOU want, that's the first thing. We here at EAS all hope that you truly want to end it, and we will be here to help you along the way. Going to see him tomorrow to end things might not be the best idea- it will likely end up with you two back in the A full-force. It will be hard to see him, and end it- or are you hoping that you can talk him out of it?

Not trying to be harsh, just wanting to help you see a little through the fog. No matter what, just hold on, because the ride will be rocky.

With love,
Hazel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2009
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 6:36pm

Hazel..thanks for your response.


I haven't seen him in so long because he's been out of town for work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 6:41pm

Hello again-


Ok, so you are ready to end it. You know you have to, so that's just what you do. You stand strong. You stand up for yourself and you do it... and do not let anything he says give you false hope and keep you hanging on. After you've ended it,

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2009
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 6:47pm

Thanks Jane and all. This hurts more than I could have ever imagined.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 7:35pm

Hi Grey. I too am new here and was encouraged by these wonderful women to contact you.


I just wanted you to know that I have decided to take back my dignity and end my A TONIGHT! I know he will be texting me when he knows I will be going to bed, and i have NO intention of responding. It will probably be the hardest thing I've ever done, but I want to get on the road back to my old life of FREEDOM!!


Even as I write this, I have my phone next to me, on high alert, waiting for that texting tone I know is his. When it does come, it's going to take sheer force to not respond. He has been my drug, and I am an addict, but it ends tonight- with ME in charge-not HIM!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 8:10pm

Ending an A is just plain painful, Gray, no doubt about it. After you talk tomorrow I hope you will come back and post about it. You have friends here that really want to help you through the tough times ahead. We've all BTDT and no one has ever said it was a

   ~Iddy~ 


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