New here.....ending this terrible addiction today....
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New here.....ending this terrible addiction today....
| Thu, 01-13-2011 - 7:20pm |
Hi everyone....i have been lurking here for a while gathering strength from everyones storys. Trying to get out of this horrible affair, addiction thing that i feel trapped in...
A little of my story

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"There is alot more to my story and eventually ill get it all out...Right now i just want someone who understands to help me get him out of my head out of my life. I have decided that today is the last day i live like this.....Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life......."
That's the spirit! Welcome to our board, and indeed to the beginning of the rest of your life. We Do understand, and want you to understand that this will be the fight of/for your life. It is not for whimps. It is a road for those seeking dignity requiring courage and commitment. YOU will learn so much more here in addition to ending an A. You will learn about yourself and your motivations, what healthy boundaries look like, and how to re-build your self-worth and self-esteem up. However, PLEASE recognize that going NC is JUST THE START. There are many posters who simply stop communicating, but never do the work to understand the toxic nature of their affair, or to take accoutability for all the hurt they have caused. The only finger pointing should be toward yourself.
There are NO victems here ... we all participated in something destructive to ourselves and others.
SO welcome ...
I hope you will stay!
First i want to thank all of you wonderful ladies for your kind words and support.....I really need that right now...I have friends but they dont understand because they never been in this situation they think its just so easy to walk away from....I used to think that too before i started an affair....
I meant to get back on here and talk more last night or early today but i spent last night and today doing something i havent done in a long time and that is take care of me & my kids...
Last night i put the kids to bed & took a long hot bath and i for once relaxed. I actually turned my phone off and didnt turn it back on until a few hours ago.....I havent done that since i started the affair.....I would keep my phone on me checking it all the time to make sure it was on.....i mean heaven forbid i missed one of his important calls or texts..(barf)
Today i got up early got my kids to school except my 2 year old.... Then i cleaned house, done shopping and acutally got my hair cut which i been needing but never had time cause i was to busy makin time for my AP... Then i decided i wanted a whole new look so i dyed my hair dark and it looks good if i do say so myself....
I also done everything i could to block him from my life... I deleted email accounts i used to text & email him from....I not only blocked him from calling me thru my cell company i just went ahead took the extra step and changed my number so he couldnt call me from another phone....I just wish he would change his number to so in case i do break down and try to contact him i cant......
I know hes not gonna leave me alone but im gonna do everything i can to get away from him....I been wanting to do this for a long time i just never could do it......But now I feel like i have hit bottom and this is my last shot at getting my life back and i cant fail......I have lost enough and
AA you are taking wonderful first steps!
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
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