New - just ended 6 yr A

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
New - just ended 6 yr A
8
Fri, 05-07-2010 - 10:46pm

Hi, I've been lurking for quite some time and have been reading all of your posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 5:49am

Welcome TGG 

Your letter is well said and it is immaterial to get a reply from your xap b/c what good it’ll do anyway? It is clear that you acknowledge the hurtful truth and that is great. However many times that he says he loves you but w/ no action on his part it meant nothing. When you really had enough, the healing is faster.

I can’t offer much advice because I am also still in the process of expelling whatever connection remnants I had w/ my xap but each day w/o knowing anything from him is liberating. Actually, I got used to it.

You’ve been lurking for some time and I know you’ve read enough but since you’ve just imposed NC, be prepared and endure the ups and downs emotion but bear in mind that that pain is towards our healing compared to the pains we experience during the A, it’ll only stop until we are dust.

I’m sure the wise women here would give you more insights.

CONGRATS FOR PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST =D

Love and Hugs to you,

Liberty

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 7:49am

Dear TGG,


Welcome to Endings. Your story was my story, only mine ended in 2004 when yours just began. If you'd like to read my story and find out how I got from there to becoming the CL, it is in the Healing Library under "Place for Success Stories." Another gal named Gullable tells her story there too, who also still works with her Xmm. I'm sharing this with you because you can be a success story too, even when

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2010
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 8:45am

Good morning TGG


I am new here too! Your letter was so eloquent and my story too! However, my ending is not so eloquent. My xmm discovered that a single man could take his place. I lied to him about the weekend and he lost it. "I tore his heart out." Wonder if he thought about

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 10:01am

Thanks everyone for all of your replies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 10:54am

I am so proud of you for turning off your phone. What is he going to say besides the same old, same old. Blah, blah, blah.....No thanks. ;-)


One hour at a time, one day at a time. You have told you were done so

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 4:13pm

Welcome,


I loved reading your letter because it was so direct and straight to the point.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 4:07pm

Hi there...I'm in the same sinking boat with you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 8:40am

TGG-


Welcome to the board. Sorry I am late in my welcome- I didn't check the board all weekend. You've already received a lot of support and advice. There's not much more I can add. I hope to hear more from you in the days to come.


Hugs,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/