Welcome to the board.
My heart goes out to you sweetie. You have taken the first really scarey step towards getting your life back, rejoining and reconnecting with the job that pays your bills and the family and friends you have neglected - and just as important - find the way back to YOU!
No, he is not meeting your needs - and he will never be able to, because what you have isn't real - A's are not real, you can't go out in public, he can't meet you parents, or your kids - he will never be able to meet your needs, because he belongs to someone else, and he is trying his hardest to meet their needs.
I could not read anywhere if he was married, with kids, but I presume that must be the reason why he is not with you. I know this is a terrible time for you, but if I were you, and you are no long colleagues,
If you were driving a car down a one way street, the wrong way,at 90 mph and drunk as a skunk, you would be in a better place than you are now.
We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.