Newbie - Day 1 of NC, and my story...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Newbie - Day 1 of NC, and my story...
10
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 12:11pm

Let me start by saying this board is a Godsend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 12:50pm

nvrsaynve,

Welcome to endings, honey, and I am sorry you are hurting over the behavior of your Xmm, but you will learn here that Affairs can end suddenly, and usually without warning. Nothing is ever writen in stone and there are no guarantees fthat someone won't be hurt

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 1:04pm

A warm welcome.

I am sorry to hear that you are in pain, but I am so happy that you have made your way to EAS.

I know that you're new, but it is important even at this stage, to recognize that you were both using one another, and that you are a threat to his relationship, just as he was to yours. If you in fact DID care about one another in an authentic way, you wouldn't have been engaging in any behaviors that would have put those you love in the line of fire. By your own account, you have a happy & wonderful life with people what care about you and trust ... you've got quite a journey ahead of you to figure out why your ego was in such need of being stroked that you compromised your dignity and self-worth for this person.

And hey, you're in the right place to start figuring that all out. I would also like to recommend seeing a therapist.

Much Care,

Tu.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 1:18pm
Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 1:44pm

It's amazing how many male affair partners never really have many feelings toward their female partner. They seem to, and you believe they do but when it comes down to it they switch it off like a light. I was just focusing on your statement on how fast his feelings changed. I submit that he never really had any for you in the first place. Sure he was attracted to you, probably very attracted. The intimacy you shared with him did not translate into emotions for him as it did for you. Very common theme when you read these stories.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 1:47pm

NSN4,

A big warm welcome to EAS. This board was a godsend for me to, and I hope that in a little bit of time, you will have regained some of your dignity and have a whole new, healthy perspective on your A.

<>

If you stick around here and read, listen and do the hard work to understand WHY you got involved in an A, I promise you that in a little bit of time, you'll go back and read this and want to barf. It's not love, NSN. Six months of bouncing around on his mattress at lunch time does not constitute love. Him feeding your ego by telling you how sexy you are is not love.

You are feeling rejected and you've lost your ego stroker. That

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 1:58pm

Thank you all so much for your support and love.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 2:18pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 3:06pm

I could have written a lot of your words myself. I have been M for 28 years. My M was boring and H and I had drifted so far apart. I really didn't think I felt anything any more.

Then I ran into xAP--who oddly is/was already an xAP! We had an A 21 years ago and had a DDay. We

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 3:07pm

Welcome Never

You will have many friends on this board who will listen and be

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2010
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 3:56pm

((((Welcome)))) NSN4!!!!!!!

I can't really add much to the posts