Newbie Here!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Newbie Here!
3
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 1:50pm

I met this guy two months ago. We had a whirlwind romance. He was upfront in telling me that he was married but was going to get out of the relationship/house. I kept seeing him with the notion of that happening. Well he tells me last weekend that his wife's health is deteriorating (MS) and needs to take care of her. I said that is noble and honorable. But I cannot stay in the relationship. He has told me that he is in love with me. He had found his soulmate and was hoping that I would stay in the relationship. Please tell me I am doing the right thing. I feel bad that I have hurt him but the rules changed. I just read some entries and it seems it is better to end it now before I get too attached to us.Thanks for the advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: yolie61
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 2:20pm

Yolie

No question your doing the right thing for you, the reality is most married men that cheat NEVER leave there wife for the other woman they just string them along as long as possible, you you have personal experience with his wife to know that she is really sick, I ask because we have heard them all her, WIFE cancer, Wife lost leg in accident ETC... mostly pure B/S...very imaginative some of these guys.

When he can hand you a divorce decree or death notice (natural causes only) then and only then should you trust him with your mind and heart.

JMHO

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
In reply to: yolie61
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 3:42pm
You are doing the right thing. I was in a relationship with a man that was married and I am as well and when I look back now I should have walked away so long ago but I was in too deep and I have remained strong and no longer see him but it is really a bad thing to get into and a waste of time. You deserve a man that will love and want only you, so don't second guess yourself you are doing the best thing for the both of you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: yolie61
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 10:30am
You're one smart cookie, Yolie. End it now. Unfortunate as the situation is, it's not YOUR problem that his wife has MS. I confess that when I read your post my first reaction was that it's just wrong to betray the person you married when they need you the most, both physically and emotionally. My second thought was that with his wife ill and deteriorating, he might be mostly interested in someone on the side, if you know what I mean and I think you do. I know that sounds terribly cynical, but his wife's condition is no doubt having an emotional impact on him as well. You're providing an incredible escape for him right now. If you want more than this from him, RUN, don't walk, away. Just my .02. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10