Newbie here needing some encouragement
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| Wed, 01-26-2011 - 4:55pm |
Hi all
was a poster on MAS but not posted on there for a while due to a lot going on with now exAP. After being together for almost a year we have now ended it and i'm struggling with the NC.
It has only been a week since it ended and I have only text him once in that time stupidly and I do regret it. Thankfully he never replied. I have been doing a lot of reading on the boards and this has helped me greatly. I know the feelings of anger and depression are a normal part of the grieving process so I am prepared for that.
I just feel so empty inside and I am missing him so much. We saw each other almost every day spent at least 1 night a week together and it is hard feeling so alone.
Ap had left his W on numerous occasions come to me for a couple of nights then go back to her. I know he has struggled being away from his children and have tried to be understanding about this. A few weeks ago he phoned me early hours of the morning told me had left her and turned up at mine. for the 1st 5 dyas he seemed fine, said this was what he wanted and he couldnt go back to her. He had to go pick some clothes and stuff up and see his children and that was when I sensed all was not well.
He eventually broke down told me he missed his children too much and 2 days later we ended it with him going back. I had always said that if he left again and went back that would be it as I couldnt keep going through this. We talked for hours before he left with him saying that he was so sorry, he never meant to hurt me and that he loved me but loved his children more. He was almost begging me to stay friends but I made it clear that wouldnt happen.
I know that we have done the right thing but it is still hard. Because of the history of our relationship I dont think I am really suprised. The thing that troubles me is that when this has happened before he usually ignores me for a few days or weeks then texts me and it ends up back on again. I usually bombard him with texts but this time I have not done that. I really want to stay strong and IF he does contact me I want to be strong enough to say no more.

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aww Ali...sorry you had such an awful day and are feeling bad.
Xoxo
UBM
Xoxo
UBM
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