new..need advise

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
new..need advise
2
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 1:49pm
i am new to the board although i read the posts daily. im here today because i need advise directed to me because i am going crazy.

i am married. i have been having an affair with a guy who is a friend of both my h and i. the guy has a girlfriend and we are friends with her too.

my relationship with him started about 2 years ago. at first it was just a friend thing until last august that we first kissed and then we went all the way in december. after that we met a couple of times but we always talked over the phone or email. sometime in march he told me he wanted to only communicate over im which we have been doing.

in june he proposed to his girlfriend.

i want to have one last time with him. at first we agreed we would. then he said he couldnt do it. he ims sometimes not everyday. i want to ask him to meet with me one last time as friends only. i really want to be with him one more time even if it just as friends.

the time we spent together was great. he is a dear friend of mine that i have grown to love. i dont want our friendship to end. i know however once he gets married it probably will in the sence that he will not im anymore.

i have tried nc with him but it has been too hard. i have cried, i have been depressed. ive done the rollar coaster ride. what should i do? should i ask for that one last time?

my h and i have been married for 13 years. after the a started things with him changed. sometimes i feel confused and i dont know if i still have feelings for him.

please write back to me. i really would like to hear your thoughts.

thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 4:55pm
It sound like he is trying to do the RIGHT thing. Support you FRIEND by helping him do the right thing.Move on!!!!!!!!!!!

lori
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:09pm
HI UP

If he really is your friend then you need to repect his wishes and give in unconditional suppoort to live his life in a way that he can look in the mirror and like what he sees.

If you love him you will do what is good for him not what feels good for you.

End this totally and get some help to work on your marriage, it can be better then it was before the affair if your both willing to work on it.

Good luck

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