Is no contact better than contact
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Is no contact better than contact
| Mon, 03-15-2004 - 8:57pm |
I was just wondering how many of you still have regular contact with other person and which do you think would be easier. I still have regular contact with my EX-MM at work.
I find it is very hard at times going back to as if nothing ever happened, but at the same time, I feel it would be harder if I never saw him again. We go on as if nothing ever happened and no one (except 1 other person) knows anything about it. What do any of ya'll think about no contact vs contact?
I find it is very hard at times going back to as if nothing ever happened, but at the same time, I feel it would be harder if I never saw him again. We go on as if nothing ever happened and no one (except 1 other person) knows anything about it. What do any of ya'll think about no contact vs contact?
THANKS

What seems to work for us is a stay in touch, very periodic and totally platonic friendship. We value each other's opinions on any subject. We no longer discuss our past history, he never talks about his wife in a negative way and when I've gone off on a tangent about my H, he often defends him by giving me the male point of view.
Please don't misunderstand, it took us a LONG time to get back to this comfortable level of friendship. There were many harsh words, tears, hurt, guilt, accusations, anger, apologies and after 6 months of total NC ... acceptance of a mistake on both our parts. Which eventually, led to forgiveness.
IMO, friendship is not possible until we go through our own (TOTAL) letting go process, and until we're strong enough to not only face our mistakes but to learn from them while accepting the fact that some dreams just are NOT intended to come true....and that's OK.
Good Luck to you! I hope you find the inner strength and peace to do what is best for you!
Everyone has to use their own judgement as whether or not to continue having contact or not. Some feel that it would be to hard, and it's easier to get on with their lives without looking back.
I found keeping it brief and always when someone else is around to serve as my preventative measures not to fall back into that situation.
Good Luck!
Debbie