A normal relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2003
A normal relationship
3
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 5:38am
Never though I'd feel this way but there is life after an affair, been dating divorced single dad now for about 2 months taking it real slow, seeing each other once or twice a week. We went bowling last night and I met his 13 year old daughter and we had a good time then went back to his house and just sat and chatted till 2 in the morning haven't had such a good time without a glass of wine for ageS.

Up until now been thinking, I don't fancy him, dont like how he dresses etc, etc but guess what this morning the first thing I thought of when I woke up was him not XMM, scary. Its so nice being able to call him when I want and to never hear the words got to go my wife might phone!, to go out and do normal things together. There might not be the wow factor there but he's growing on me.

Bit of a spanner in the work though XMM texted me to say he knows why his wife has been giving me nasty looks when we pass each other on the way to work, apparently she saw his phone bill again and as my number was on it a couple of times (we agreed not to talk anymore!). She thinks he is still seeing me. We texted a bit, flirty and funny and said goodbye. He then texted and thanked me for cheering him up after yesterday, so of course stupidly, I asked what had happened and that was when she had accussed him of still seeing me. He said he told her he was leaving until she got it out of her head he was still seeing me (idiot). Told him what a good move that was! and it must of convinced her!, that if I was an angel I'd give him some advice but look where it got me last time (affair started after me trying to help him sort his marriage) he didn't reply. I didn't ask if he had moved out but doubt it very much. Things obviously aren't going very well for them and yet he still contacts me!! Don't think he knows what he wants.

I thought I had come out of the whole affair situation the loser but I'm starting to think otherwise and now if his marriage doesn't work out and he calls me like I told him to if he was single I'm no longer so sure I'd want him, feelings for him haven't changed but can see the difference between the man I am seeing now and XMM.

Anyway rambling so if your single and are feeling there is no light at the end of the tunnel don't give up. If someone invites you out, how ever bad you feel go, met new man by chatting to his friends when I was dragged out one night,went on blind date.

It can and will get better.


Edited 3/13/2004 5:39 am ET ET by natty536

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 12:14pm
Wish I believed you hun, but if you are still flirting with your exMM, it aint over for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 6:33pm
It did'nt start in a day and it won't end in a day but it seems to me she's moveing on UP to better things
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2003
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 6:50pm
Hi Lotus,

no I know its not completly over but its getting there, I no longer feel the need to contact XMM which is a major jump forward. I will always hold a special place for him in my heart,but I think the affair was a lot to do with unfinished business from our teens he's part of my life, but at least now I know I will have the strength to eventually cut all ties. It takes a lot for me to give my heart to anyone but once I have thats it no room for anyone else and if I start to feel that way about new chap XMM will be history again.

I don't feel the need for XMM anymore but if I saw him out I would be happy to see him and yes we'd propably flirt a little but that's just how we have always been together there is nothing wrong in flirting as long as thats as far as it goes and your both happy with that.

It's too hard to explain, but I know he and I feel we needed to have been in each others lives again, both know its over and want each other to be happy but will continue to have feelings for each other and that neither of us will take it any further and thats ok by both of us.