Is this normal..or am I loosing it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Is this normal..or am I loosing it?
5
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 2:43pm

I am in day THREE of NC, and am wondering if it is normal to be having restless nights of sleeping & waking every few hours because JAM is invading my sub-conscience? I'm having dreams about him too. I do not WANT to- meaning to say, I am not purposely thinking about him.


I do fairly well in the day b/c I can try to keep occupied, but I find the evening hours (around dinner time to bed time) is when I seem to loose my brave face.


Ironically, this is the time when my family is together and home, and here I am feeling depressed b/c it's when we used to do the most contact with e/o. Makes me feel absolutely horrible for not being there 100% emotionally for my family.


FL


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 3:16pm

Hold on tight, FL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 4:55pm

As CSN said- Hold on tight. The next few days/weeks/months are going to be a tumultuous roller coaster ride as you rid your life of xap. Each day it will get better. YOu just have to ride this out... that's really the best advice I can give you. Experience the emotions, do your best to cope, practice patience with yourself and you will begin to heal. Those first few days are the toughest.


Hugs,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 5:08pm

FL,


CSN offered great advice. It's very true that you are still strongly in withdrawal mode. It takes 3 weeks to break a habit, and if the evening is when you used to make contact then you have to replace that behavior with other things. Make a list of stuff you can do with your family, or even plan to do your chores in the evening if kids and H are doing there own thing. How old are your children? Do you work? If not, sign up for a few night classes or plan on going to the gym a few nights a week. Whatever it takes. ;-)


In answer to your question, of course it is normal to feel lost/restless this early on. As far as XAP invading your dreams, your subconscious is trying to purge all of the gunk the A dumped in it. It's processing the changes taking place

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 5:17pm

It's sooo normal and you are doing really, really well, in spite of how you feel right now. Take heart! You're going be 100% there for your family again soon! Even faster if you ride these waves without letting them take you down. You can do it!!!! We did - you can!

Come here often! We've got your back.
Love,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 6:42pm