Is this normal..or am I loosing it?
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Is this normal..or am I loosing it?
| Thu, 05-13-2010 - 2:43pm |
I am in day THREE of NC, and am wondering if it is normal to be having restless nights of sleeping & waking every few hours because JAM is invading my sub-conscience? I'm having dreams about him too. I do not WANT to- meaning to say, I am not purposely thinking about him.
I do fairly well in the day b/c I can try to keep occupied, but I find the evening hours (around dinner time to bed time) is when I seem to loose my brave face.
Ironically, this is the time when my family is together and home, and here I am feeling depressed b/c it's when we used to do the most contact with e/o. Makes me feel absolutely horrible for not being there 100% emotionally for my family.
FL

Hold on tight, FL!
As CSN said- Hold on tight. The next few days/weeks/months are going to be a tumultuous roller coaster ride as you rid your life of xap. Each day it will get better. YOu just have to ride this out... that's really the best advice I can give you. Experience the emotions, do your best to cope, practice patience with yourself and you will begin to heal. Those first few days are the toughest.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
FL,
CSN offered great advice. It's very true that you are still strongly in withdrawal mode. It takes 3 weeks to break a habit, and if the evening is when you used to make contact then you have to replace that behavior with other things. Make a list of stuff you can do with your family, or even plan to do your chores in the evening if kids and H are doing there own thing. How old are your children? Do you work? If not, sign up for a few night classes or plan on going to the gym a few nights a week. Whatever it takes. ;-)
In answer to your question, of course it is normal to feel lost/restless this early on. As far as XAP invading your dreams, your subconscious is trying to purge all of the gunk the A dumped in it. It's processing the changes taking place
~Iddy~
It's sooo normal and you are doing really, really well, in spite of how you feel right now. Take heart! You're going be 100% there for your family again soon! Even faster if you ride these waves without letting them take you down. You can do it!!!! We did - you can!
Come here often! We've got your back.
Love,
Dee