Not feeling strong

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Not feeling strong
1
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 10:47am
Still trying to do the right thing. NC has been difficult because OM, who is single, keeps contacting me. Sends me e-mails that he loves me, and wants to marry me. It makes it so hard to be with my husband. Can't keep the OM out of my head and heart, which makes it nearly impossible to try to move forward with H.

I know I was not satisfied and fulfilled with H, but now I don't know if I'm subconciously sabotaging my efforts with him so I can be with OM, free of guilt. No good answers. I know if I stay with H, and never see OM again, I'll never be fully satisfied, and will always wonder what might have been. But, if I leave H and go with OM, our relationship might not last or be as good as I hoped, and I would be left alone.

I'm moving out next week. I'm hoping that a little space and continued therapy will give me some clarity. In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on me, and what makes me happy. Just signed up to deliver meals to the elderly, thinking of taking up the guitar.

italianpisces - thanks for the note. Our situations really are similar. I hope you are doing well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2003
In reply to: ist123
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:33pm
Oh I feel so bad for you right now. I can tell you are confused and torn. Most of us have been there although if my XOM was contacting me I too would find it very hard to be strong with the NC because I am so attracted to him. In my case he initiated and has kept the NC but I miss him so much.

I think you are doing a very good thing focusing on some other things and doing for others delivering the meals. I think we could all use some of that therapy. I have been thinking of working with the elderly at a nursing home. It would help me to stop thinking about XOM and my less than ideal marriage.

Do you have children? Are you moving to an apt? We are here for you. Take it one day at a time and stay strong. Just tell OM you need him to leave you alone for awhile while you think about things.

hugs

careful