Not feeling strong
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| Thu, 03-04-2004 - 10:47am |
I know I was not satisfied and fulfilled with H, but now I don't know if I'm subconciously sabotaging my efforts with him so I can be with OM, free of guilt. No good answers. I know if I stay with H, and never see OM again, I'll never be fully satisfied, and will always wonder what might have been. But, if I leave H and go with OM, our relationship might not last or be as good as I hoped, and I would be left alone.
I'm moving out next week. I'm hoping that a little space and continued therapy will give me some clarity. In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on me, and what makes me happy. Just signed up to deliver meals to the elderly, thinking of taking up the guitar.
italianpisces - thanks for the note. Our situations really are similar. I hope you are doing well.

I think you are doing a very good thing focusing on some other things and doing for others delivering the meals. I think we could all use some of that therapy. I have been thinking of working with the elderly at a nursing home. It would help me to stop thinking about XOM and my less than ideal marriage.
Do you have children? Are you moving to an apt? We are here for you. Take it one day at a time and stay strong. Just tell OM you need him to leave you alone for awhile while you think about things.
hugs
careful