Not really an A, but want NC!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Not really an A, but want NC!
3
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 10:17am
I'm fed up with this situation. It's going nowhere, isn't going to go anywhere, and I'm disgusted with the whole thing.

I'm married and so is the OM. He's a friend of my H, we get together frequently, and I've known him for 8 years.

We started flirting with each other almost as soon as we met each other.

This gradually progressed to a little bit of fooling around, and in the past couple of years, more serious fooling around.

So what's the problem?

I think this guy is stringing me along with no intention of ever following through on anything.

Whenever we play around, it's when I'm around him. Any other time, I never hear from him.

For the last couple of years, he always wants to get together and spend some time with me, but it always seems to be ME who has to make the first move. Since I won't contact him, nothing ever pans out. I'm getting bored and frustrated with this.

I also suspect that he's putting everything on me because if the wife catches him (I think she knows what's going on and I think she's known for years, but she's looking the other way for now), he can blame it all on me.

I think it's time for NC and I need encouragement!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:08am
I'd say it qualifies as an affair, and I'd say you've been giving this guy his cake for WAY too long. STOP IT!!!!!!! (How's that for encouragement?) ;-) Seriously, it sounds like he'll make NC easy for you to do, as long as you can find the strength and self-respect to stay away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:42am
HEY Blue

Your a Toy that he plays with when it is handy, not even worth stringing along that requires some effort and he's not makeing any is he.

Your right he will dump all this on you when it comes out and if his wife knows it will it's just a matter of time, and it won't just be his wife he tells this to he will do the same with your husband friends and anyone else who heres.

Now if this does not get you into the NO CONTACT frame of mind nothing will, NOW DO IT.


F

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 1:31pm
Thanks for the encouragement!

What pushed me to the edge was an incident that happened a couple of weeks ago. We were at another party, and he approached me yet again. I said "Call me" and he said "My wife is on vacation this week," which was true. Well, guess what? HE'S home on vacation this week (I'm a SAHM, so I'm home all the time), and I haven't heard one word from him! I was not surprised at all that he didn't call, but I finally admitted to myself that this was stupid and why was I doing this to myself?

Here's a better story: Last year, I ran into him in a store, and he said he was off and his wife was at work, why don't we go out to lunch? Well, I was on my way to my OB/GYN's to have my first ultrasound (I was about 6-7 weeks pregnant at the time), but I didn't tell HIM that. I said I had somewhere else to go and I didn't appreciate such short notice-why didn't he call me? All he could say was "I was missing a golden opportunity!" GAG!

I've had it, the whole thing is a big joke, I'm tired of fooling myself, and he doesn't feel sh*t for me. The only way I'm able to hold my head up is I NEVER called him constantly, made myself look desperate, or threw myself in front of him. I never contacted him and I kept my distance. I'm starting NC TODAY.


Edited 4/14/2004 1:38 pm ET ET by bluemeanie70