Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 2:19am

You have a great husband that loves you very much, you have a great family with kids that love you very much, you have a great God that will forgive you if you turn from your sin. Are you willing to give all that up for JAM?!?!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
In reply to:
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 8:22am
Good for you hurting!!

I know only too well how daunting and impossible this whole situation seems. Im guessing a part of you believes that you have messed up so spectularly that you may as well keep going along with Xap and just see where the chips will fall. And fall they will but not how any of us can anticipate..... Other than more innocent people having their lifes utterly shattered.

In your other post, RBM asked you some very sobering and potent questions - think about each of these as you keep NC Hurting. You have a rare and very special man in your DH Put your arms around him, hold him tight and never let go....

Now about NC hey you've just done 7 days!!! Way to go!!! BUT 2 more tiny little things and ouch this will sting.... You need to BLOCK - every avenue, phone, email, social networks everything.... There is a child involved here so ultimately you will eventually have to talk that all through whatever YOU decide is for the best. But for now (83 days) it really is for the best if you block.

It might also be useful to reframe your thinking from "i will TRY to keep NC" to "I WILLkeep NC". See now I have a basket of ironing sitting glaring at me. Now I could think to myself Im going to try and get that ironing done today, OR i can think Im going to do that ironing today.... Which of those thoughts is going to get it done.... 

We are all here for you hurting. I believe in you and KNOW you can do this. One last little thing....

"I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope"
Jeremiah 29 v 11


Sunny soon Xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to:
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 1:55am

Can I add?

You deserve much more than a dead-end A could offer.  You deserve more than a few moments of happy that don’t last and fade as quickly as the moment moves to the past.  You are responsible for your own happiness—no one can give that to you except you. You deserve to be fully attentive and present in each moment of your life and not vacillating between two paths never progressing on either. You deserve to be progressive and not stuck in limbo.




Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.