Number of Times Daily U Think of MM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Number of Times Daily U Think of MM?
7
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 12:15pm
i thought it would be an interesting experiment today, to count how many times xMM comes into my thoughts. So far i am up to 20--and the day is young. After i tally this for the day, i am going to slowly start reducing the number, somehow.

So, how many times do you think you think of MM or xMM?

Clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 12:31pm
The thoughts about XMM all depend on the day.

There are some days that I can go a good couple of hours w/o a thought of him. And when I do think of him I can brush it off quickly. On the other hand, there are the days that that he is all that I think about. I can get stuck very easily in a 10-15 minute thought many times throughout the day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 6:17pm
Way too many. Funny you mention this because it is one of my biggest obstacles with NC. Since we worked together and now he is elsewhere, I still see his name everywhere. Crap, it is still on just about everyones phone line list, so when I answer their phone, there he is AGAIN. I see it everywhere, all the time. Today a letter from a supplier came addressed to him. I figure I really need to change jobs too. I have been proactive in this by putting out my resume, but I can't afford to make less money just to be not reminded all the time.

I am going into day 3 of NC. I am trying sooooo hard not to make a call or send an email.But that doesn't stop me from checking mine a million times. I have a feeling he's fighting with his W about moving again, somewhere she doesn't want to move to. I always found it so weird that when he and his wife would be on the outs about something, he would pull back from me. But when things were fine, which was really most of the time, he was gun ho to mess around. Men, go figure.

I have had to put away everything he ever gave me, ie. earrings, bracelet, a crystal bottle (which he gave me when we were trying to stop once, to bottle up the energy that wouldn't go away, it didn't work). I have one photo of him I keep hidden in my checkbook that I look at to make me feel ????????. This is a sad position to be in.

I think it is the lack of control of my feelings that's the worst. When I think of all the stuff I have going on right now, I have a 21 year old son that's a Marine in Iraq, a 16 year old daughter, enough said, and both of my parents are going down hill, my emotions are so raw. It only takes a somewhat sentimental TV commercial to get me all choked up. Poor me, huh

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 7:31pm
i am up to about 45 times today.

tomorrow i will work on thinking of him 44 times. that's my goal.

clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 8:52pm
I just heard "Let me let go" by Faith Hill on the radio. Well that about sums it up for me. Not a single minute passes without him in it. Hopefully it will get better!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 10:32pm
Gosh... Don't you think that actually counting the thoughts makes you focus on XMM more? It would for me. I mean, yes, he's on my mind frequently but the thoughts are more vague and fleeting now; to try to keep track of them would make them more concrete and harder to let go of. Instead of counting -- push those thoughts away!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 2:12pm
My question is do you think they obsess as much as we do??? I really wonder. Cuz' we do obsess. Do you think we come into their minds as often as they come into ours. Once I asked my xMM what does he do to move on and he said it very matter of factly "he doesnt allow (allow being the key word for me) himself to dwell on these thoughts". Sounds so simple doesnt it? I would love to know how much truth there is to that. Do you think they really move on easier than us? hmmmm??? thoughts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 2:44pm
I think it's the male vs. female thinking thing. I just finished reading a book titled,

"Why Men Don't Listen and Woman Can't Read Maps" and it really addresses how and why we think differently. They use a lot of humor, so it's entertaining and enlightening at the same time. They even reference scientific evidence to back up what they are saying in the book.

I was telling my H this morning that I wish I had read this book years ago. He's in the process of reading the second in the series, "Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Woman Always Need More Shoes" and I think he is understanding me a little more than he use to. He seems to be a little more in tune with me and it is helping our relationship tremendously. I can't wait until he finishes it so I can read it.

So to answer your question, yes I do think they think of us. They just have a different way of dealing with all of it.