Setting XAP aside for a moment, I am more concerned as to why you were numb to those around you before you started your A. I'm not familiar with your story so I apologize for not knowing more about you, but are you M? D? or S? The reason I am asking is because sometimes when we've been hurt in the past, we can
I'm glad you're seeing your Dr. Numbing up is a sign of depression, as is the destructive behavior of an A. Like you, I was numb to the special people in my life before the A - checked out of my M, found my family's needs to be too much, avoided time at home, avoided my friends. However, I bonded and interacted with my xAP like crazy, and I finally felt 'alive'. Sick. Now, that I ended the A (almost a month), I'm more 'present' and appreciative, connected to my RL - but, I fear returning to the depression and numbness that existed before. It's hard for me to stay present when I'm overwhelmed; and doing the hard work of introspection, getting over the addiction of the A, working on my M, and coping with the stress, guilt, and reality of it all is ARG! HARD! one day at a time.
You're being proactive: you're going to your Dr., going to see a T soon, and posting here! That's wonderful. Good work. I look forward to hearing about your successes!
Sorry it took me so long to respond, but thank you so much! As I have been reading on here almost daily for close to a month, of course I’ve read your posts.
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Maybe you cut others out of your life as a defense mechanism?
hi energy
good to see you again!
i was going to write something along the same lines but you did it beautifully in about 2 sentences. i tend to be rather verbose....
hugs
ls
LovelyStarr
"Enlightment is not a matter of imagining figures of light, but of making the darkness conscious." C.G.Jung
LovelyStarr
"Enlightment is not a matter of imagining figu
Hiya LS!
It's a rare day when I get wordy.
HH2B,
Setting XAP aside for a moment, I am more concerned as to why you were numb to those around you before you started your A. I'm not familiar with your story so I apologize for not knowing more about you, but are you M? D? or S? The reason I am asking is because sometimes when we've been hurt in the past, we can
I'm glad you're seeing your Dr. Numbing up is a sign of depression, as is the destructive behavior of an A. Like you, I was numb to the special people in my life before the A - checked out of my M, found my family's needs to be too much, avoided time at home, avoided my friends. However, I bonded and interacted with my xAP like crazy, and I finally felt 'alive'. Sick. Now, that I ended the A (almost a month), I'm more 'present' and appreciative, connected to my RL - but, I fear returning to the depression and numbness that existed before. It's hard for me to stay present when I'm overwhelmed; and doing the hard work of introspection, getting over the addiction of the A, working on my M, and coping with the stress, guilt, and reality of it all is ARG! HARD! one day at a time.
You're being proactive: you're going to your Dr., going to see a T soon, and posting here! That's wonderful. Good work. I look forward to hearing about your successes!
Dee
Hard,
I may be repeating what others said, as I didn't read the responses....so I'm only responding to your post at this point...
My guess as to why you're indifferent to others and not to ex-AP....
You are afraid to get close to someone.
hardhabit2break -
First of all, good for you for giving your xAP the cold shoulder today (from your earlier post).
Iddy,
Sorry it took me so long to respond, but thank you so much! As I have been reading on here almost daily for close to a month, of course I’ve read your posts.
Thanks, Dee!
I do think I am/have been suffering from depression. Looking into that. My bigger question for myself is why????
Thanks, Mickey! You gave me some things to think about for sure, and what you said makes a LOT of sense to me.
I can't tell you all how much you being here means...although I wish none of us were here :)
I hope in time I can come here and "give back" to some other lost soul.
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