The obsession of NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
The obsession of NC
23
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 10:19am

Seems to me that NC has become an obsession of sorts around these parts. I am not trying at all to be disrespectful to the vets because I KNOW that it saved your life, so please hear me out.


I feel like I'm am trying to work myself up to accomplish this big goal of NC from AP, and I stress about never talking to him again (because he sits on the under end of my phone like a crack pipe that I can smoke whenever I want). And I stress about

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 12:15pm

We've had these discussions on the board and there are many different viewpoints. NC and counting NC really worked for me and for many others here... and it doesn't work for others. So I say, do whatever works for you. For me, each day of NC I put under my belt empowered me and propelled me forward. I turned 6 months today though, and one of my promises to myself is that I'd stop counting today. No more looking back, only forward.


Hugs,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 4:34pm

Ahhh...spoken like a true addict.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 6:48pm

Six months is a BIG DEAL! You must feel so proud of yourself right now. I hope you do something amazing to celebrate today. The thing about A's is that there are no rules, so if you let them they will cycle through all their phases over and over until someone says STOP! Thankfully it has stopped and it must feel very peaceful and calm inside yourself. I am happy for you... and inspired. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 6:56pm

"Ahhh...spoken like a true addict.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 7:18pm

I start to freak out when it becomes so many days that it's clear this thing is really over and rather than remaining logical I start to paddle back towards the sinking titanic and try to make it float again. :(


Of course, you realize that this is where we can go off the beam :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 8:10pm

Wising -

Clarity is right - the Titanic is still going to be the Titanic if you paddle back to it - and it still has a gaping hole in it. I think if you look at NC in a positive way, maybe you'll see it differently. I don't see us as obsessed with it, I see us struggling with it at first because it's hard to get over not being able to communicate with someone that we thought was important to us. Then later it becomes a celebration of the number of days of getting our lives back.

I'm like you, I don't necessarily want to count every day - I have enough to keep track of in my life. But I know the number of weeks and after going through hell for 7.5 years, I'm very proud that I've given 5 weeks back to myself.

I also agree that I don't want to talk about it all the time - which is why no one in my "non cyber life" knows. I have a couple girlfriends that I do things with and sometimes it's very hard to act like nothing is wrong. But as things get progressively better, that is too.

You have to handle things the best way for you. :)

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 10:50pm

Hi Wisingup2010,


I also don't count the days i've been NC but i focus how i would go with my day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 11:14pm

"Ask yourself, exactly how your world will fall apart if this man...JAM (you know him by just a man, right? :) is no longer in it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 11:20pm

Thanks Bodhi! I hope that you continue on your road. You have done a great job remaining strong in the midst of all this. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 2:00am

Hi wisingup


I also don't count the days... cannot count that high lol. I find if I do start counting it might be a downfall. For some peopel counting the days is an important step that keeps them moving forward. :)

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