Officially ended it today

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Officially ended it today
7
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 6:37pm

I posted yesterday about how I was afraid to let go... but I mustered up the courage to actually end it today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 7:14pm

Welocome aboard girl100!

You are in the right place!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 7:21pm

Welcome to the board Inlgirl100!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 7:26pm

LNL...I posted on your other thread to see how you were doing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 7:32pm

Good for you, Inigirl. Now I can officially welcome you to our community and give you a great big ((hug)). I can imagine that you are in pain right now, but it will never compare to the pain of discovery, so I hope you

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 7:07am

lnlgirl,

I hear you when you say you just got tired of it all....emotional roller coaster, realizing your emotions were tied to whether you heard from him that day, constant anxiety from the guilt, etc.

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2010
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 12:35pm

Ini ~

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 4:37pm
Hello ladies, Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement.
I have been thinking about xAP on and off. Mostly I think about how he could tell me he loved me and cared for me and missed me but could also go on for days without contacting me. And then I tell myself that I never should have held that against him because when he is with his family, he is only doing the right thing by focusing on them and not thinking about me... but it still hurts. I try as much as I can to block these thoughts.
This morning was difficult. As soon as H left for work, my heart started beating fast and I had this sudden urge to contact xAP. I logged on to see if he was online, unsure of what to tell him if he happened to be there, thank god he wasnt online..I called his work phone and thankfully he didn't answer. Then I thought about what I have been reading here, NC=no new hurt. That should be my new mantra.
I also should mention that I work with xAP but I am currently on medical leave. Will be going back to work in a month and will be seeing him everyday. So I know that I need to take advantage of my leave to try to get over the A.
I feel better reading and posting here. Next time I have the urge to contact him, I will come here and post.
Thanks again ladies for listening.