OH .... I contacted him.. kick me!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
OH .... I contacted him.. kick me!!!!!!!
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 1:17am
Ok, I couldn't help myself and after he contacted me 3 days later my hands just went to the write a mail section and w/o me having any control onver it...I emailed him. Guess what I have been waiting for his anwer and he never emailed me back. I am so sorry for doing this after I have been doing soooo good, now I am back in my depression and heartache......... oh .. I have no will power at all. I trusted him one more time.... the 90 the time. God forgive me. Guardedticker tell me off please, but good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 7:32am

You have already kicked yourself and yelled at yourself and I don't think anyone else yelling at you is going to help. It's done. And maybe you learned the lesson yet again - sometimes it takes a few repeats til we really "get it".

You are NOT as weak as you think you are. I can say this because I kept telling myself I was weak, telling myself I couldn't help it... When I went back into my affair (more than once) before finally ending it - I said "I'm too weak, I can't help it". And it took a friend to finally get me to listen - she said "I am weak is an EXCUSE you are using." You are NOT weak, you just have to believe that, and keep acting like you are strong. You ARE strong. What's done is done. Don't wait for email from him, delete it if by some weird chance it arrives...

And forgive yourself for the past. Be strong NOW. You can't change what you did, but forgive the slip, believe in your own strength, and move forward from here...



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 11:48am


You sound like my four year old daughter the other day. I told her not to eat a piece of candy, and she did anyway and then responded 'But MOM, the chocolate made me do it!' Then we both laughed and went on with life.

I have two things to say-First, if you regreted sending the email, then the BEST thing that could've happened was that he didn't respond. Other then a bruised ego, you are basically in the same place you were before you took that slight mistep. You haven't really started down the slippery slope of contact that you know you need to avoid. The second thing is that you are still as strong as you were before. You may have taken a tiny step sideways, but you have not take a million steps back. Look at is for what it is, and try to have my daughters attitude about the whole thing. From her perspective, she may have eaten chocolate she shoudn't have, but it doesn't make her a bad person, it just makes her someone who ate a piece of chocolate when she wasn't supposed to!

Good luck and stay strong!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 11:51am
Kick~ hope you go it. Dont do it again, OK? *smiles*
Avatar for guardedticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 12:47pm
Sheesh! Have I gotten the reputation on this board as the BIG BAD WITCH - why not? We have a good little witch! LOL.

Blue, if you will just put more effort into your marriage and if you are and it is not working, then make a decision about it, I believe you will stop looking to other people, especially this OM for love and attention.

This is about YOU and your choices. So as long as you keep CHOOSING to make contact with this OM, you are just choosing not to heal. When you are truly ready to take responsibility for your own actions, you will. That's all I have to say about it.

Good luck and hugs to you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 1:13pm
It's NOT about "telling you off". It's about writing whatever support we can for your benefit.

What you do with our advice is still YOUR responsibility.

NO ONE needs to "kick you".

You've recognized your error. Hopefully this time have learned from it enough not to repeat a painful failed pattern.

It's your choice....

Failure and pain or Success and peace.


What's it going to be?