Oh My Gosh

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
Oh My Gosh
29
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 1:42pm
So for those of you who don't really know my story....A started in 9/08 and lasted until about 3/09. Had LC after that until Jan, 2010 and then complete NC. My H only knows that I had a guy at work interested in me and I was tempted so I left that job. It was enough to scare the hell out of him and he became the best H anyone could ask for. So here I've been going about my business, working, enjoying my H and family and completely forgetting about xap. A couple of weeks ago I posted about a friend of mine telling me that an acquaintance had told her that I cheat on my H (that conversation took place a year ago). So with the help of all of you I blew it off since it was so long ago. This morning I come home from the gym and see that there is a message on my answering machine from some woman. Here is what it says: "Hi, I just saw your wife at the gym, and I think she has something going on with some guy there, anyway, I'll try to catch you at work". Wow, I was floored! I didn't even speak with anyone at the gym. I always wear my ipod and get my workout in without talking to anyone because I'm so pressed for time. My xap doesn't even go to my gym. I immediately called my H and let him listen to the message. He was concerned. I told him I have no idea who this could have been. So what do I do with this? I'm shaking all over. I hope she does contact him at work so I can get to the bottom of this. Man, just when things were going so well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
In reply to: actingasif_
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 7:26pm
Gone, Wow, never say never, but that was the farthest thing from my mind. I'm not sure how you got that out the phone call I received. I'm with my H every night and meet him for lunch almost everyday. He never knows where his cell phone is and when he does get a text he always asks me to check it because he can't be bothered. So, no, I don't think that is the case.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
In reply to: actingasif_
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 7:27pm
AAI, point being not your talking or not talking to some random guy at the gym - but that some woman saw you there, recognized you, and made a call to your home and left a voicemail for your husband - and apparently knows your husband enough to "catch him at the office". Does he have close lady friends at work?
**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
In reply to: actingasif_
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 7:38pm
Gone, He works with a bunch of guys. I'm at his office almost daily and know the 2 women who work there, definitely nothin goin on there. Whoever this person is, she may just be bluffing about calling him at work. I don't know, just don't know. But someone's trying to mess with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
In reply to: actingasif_
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 7:49pm

Then it makes no sense whatsoever...even my perverted mind is out of ideas:)

Can you get caller id?

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
In reply to: actingasif_
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 10:08pm

AAI,


I can imagine your worry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 7:33am

Actingasif,

Becareful! Someone is watching you and obviously knows your H enough to have your home phone number and to know where he works and to have his work number.

It could have something to do with your A; but logically that doesnt make sense since it was said and done awhile ago now.

My guess is either your H isnt being totally truthful with you, or this woman knows about your A and now wants to get in the middle of your M. Maybe she is trying to convince him of having an A, by telling him youre out on the prowl. Either way, not good.

My advice to you is, keep your ears and eyes open....keep being honest with your H. I know you dont think its possible that your H is having an A, but honey remember how good we are at acting and hiding our dirty little secerts? This woman isnt going away anytime soon...she is here to stir the pot of sh*t.

Good luck,
DM

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 8:45am

AAI,


I just wanted to give you ((hugs)) and courage to stand tall until this storm blows over. Speculating on who it is and why she did this is a waste of time and worry. As long as you are forthcoming to your H, the two of you can get past this.


Since neither you or your H recognized the voice, my guess is that someone put her up to it. Regardless, this person is an idiot and I wouldn't give her anymore time of day. I know this had to have rattled you big time, but if H agrees, get a new phone number or an unlisted one.


You know the truth and that is all that matters.


((Hugs))

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 9:00am
I am just wondering why you are so sure your H isn't having an A. You really don't know. During my A, we didn't call each other and we only met up about once a month for about two hours (that's so sad now that I am typing it out). I'm just saying, never say never. It is very self-centered of you to think that you could have an A but your H wouldn't or couldn't. I will bet the farm that your H either knows about your A or he is having one himself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 10:32am

Momandboys, If you would have read an eariler post of mine you would have seen that I wrote "never say never". I am not naive. I don't think that some of you even understand the phone call. It was regarding me, and my actions, not my H. I believe what my gut tells me about these things, just like my H believed his gut when he suspected things didn't feel quite right with me. He didn't want to believe what his gut was telling him about me. Years ago, when I discovered that my H was checking out porn on the internet, my intuition gave me a heads up about it. I confided in H that it made me feel insecure when he looked at that stuff (call me a prude). He didn't want me to feel this way and he downloaded "covenant eyes" on his work and home computer. That made him accountable. He's a stand up guy, unlike me, and my heart of hearts, and gut tell me NO, he is not having an affair. Thanks for the concern though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 11:34am

AAI,


That message was meant for you to hear. That's not a message you would leave for someone especially at their home where their wife could hear. That is something you tell someone directly not to an answering machine. If she had your H work phone number then she would've called there first. Again, going back to this being something you would tell someone directly.

~Stargirl~