Oh My Gosh

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
Oh My Gosh
29
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 1:42pm
So for those of you who don't really know my story....A started in 9/08 and lasted until about 3/09. Had LC after that until Jan, 2010 and then complete NC. My H only knows that I had a guy at work interested in me and I was tempted so I left that job. It was enough to scare the hell out of him and he became the best H anyone could ask for. So here I've been going about my business, working, enjoying my H and family and completely forgetting about xap. A couple of weeks ago I posted about a friend of mine telling me that an acquaintance had told her that I cheat on my H (that conversation took place a year ago). So with the help of all of you I blew it off since it was so long ago. This morning I come home from the gym and see that there is a message on my answering machine from some woman. Here is what it says: "Hi, I just saw your wife at the gym, and I think she has something going on with some guy there, anyway, I'll try to catch you at work". Wow, I was floored! I didn't even speak with anyone at the gym. I always wear my ipod and get my workout in without talking to anyone because I'm so pressed for time. My xap doesn't even go to my gym. I immediately called my H and let him listen to the message. He was concerned. I told him I have no idea who this could have been. So what do I do with this? I'm shaking all over. I hope she does contact him at work so I can get to the bottom of this. Man, just when things were going so well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 12:17pm

Hi AAI,


I agree with everything Iddy posted.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 12:39pm
I dont know why no one is pointing towards your exAP? I would bet its him, whatever the motive.As for a woman's voice,there are as many possibilities of getting a woman's voice as his motives.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 2:19pm

E1 and Iddy, Thank you for being the voices of reason here. My H and I had a great talk about it this morning and we both agree that we will stand up to whoever this coward is. We have nothing to hide. I did tell my H a little bit more about my A (he suspected all along). I explained that I was so confused and lost at the time with our nest completely emptied and him not home enough, which he has since fixed. Anyways, blessing do come out of bad things.

E1, I copied your post and read it to my H. He agreed with the entire post. I told him that it came from an online therapist. Since I still believe you are one!

Thank you so much to those of you ladies that had solid advice for me. I love you all!

Hugs, AAI

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 2:20pm

<>


You are right there is a very GOOD REASON we didn’t focus our attention there. Ummmm….cause that would be stating the obvious as a possibility and more importantly because we/I DON’T want to give input that would “encourage” or give “reasons” to break NC.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 2:47pm

If it was THAT obvious,then why drag the issue and instead accept it and let it go?? Facing the issue straight on is better than ignoring it till its in the face.

Have a nice day!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 5:06pm

Ahh thanks AAI!


Let’s see…so far the phone call has encouraged open lines of communication between you and your H. You are both working as a team on this issue and it has brought you both closer. Hmmmm…seems like you are both foiling the caller’s desire to cause problems in your M. Bravo! I’m sure you’ve both discussed what to do and how to handle it should you receive any further calls.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2010
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 6:37pm

"I did tell my H a little bit more about my A (he suspected all along)"


AAI -


I'm very happy that this event, while upsetting, ended up bringing positive results.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
In reply to: actingasif_
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 8:06pm

Magenta, I told H that I became very attached emotionally with xap because of loneliness. I told him that he kissed me once at work and that is when I decided to leave my job. He never knew the real reason I left my job. I don't know if he fully believes it was only a kiss, however, he hasn't asked. I think it would just be too painful for him. I would deny anything else happened. I want to spare him the misery. He seems to be doing ok with this as I'm sure suspected all along. I think it's even a relief for him that I'm talking about it. He understands now how lonely I was. I didn't fully understand the depths of this loneliness until we started talking about it. So, again, many blessings have come out this A. But, I wouldn't go so far as to say I'd do it again. Just not worth all the pain. I would choose MC instead. Hope that helps!

Love, AAI

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2010
In reply to: actingasif_
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:14am

AAI,


Just wanted to thank you for sharing.

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