Ok God, I get it. Pls stop the reminders

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Ok God, I get it. Pls stop the reminders
12
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 3:27pm

Dear God-


Yes, I know that I messed up. I am aware that what I did makes me a terrible person. I am trying very hard to deal with it. I was sure you and I had come to terms when you sent several days of sunshine just when I needed them, but apparently, you and I are not on the same page. You see, I am trying NOT to think of xap and I do everything in my power to avoid it, so why, why, why, did you have that woman send that press release to me today about xap's big accomplishment? I was doing so well and that was like a knife right to the heart. I am sure you were up there laughing because I was so unsuspecting. Did you do that just to see the reaction - see my face flush and tears rush to my eyes? Or, did you do it because you love me and you are trying your damndest to desensitize me? Whatever the reason, enough for today. I've had so many of your little reminders the past couple weeks, it really is uncanny. And I know that is what I get for pooping where I work and play- I know. I am simply asking for a break... for just a few days.


Love,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 3:46pm

Oh my dear, sweet ((Jane!))

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 3:48pm

Dear Jane,


I work in very mysterious ways my dear...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 5:42pm

Aw, Janie. hugs hugs hugs.
1st off -- what is the business about you being a terrible person??! Let's not say those things, ok? They are not true and only serve to reinforce negative and defeatist self perceptions. So, please do 20 Hail-Mary-style "Jane Rocks" and you will be forgiven.

I am so sorry the the PR Release was like a knife in the heart. I can't speak for God (he won't return my calls), but I can tell you that he loves you and probably wants you to work through this pain because triggers and reminders do and will come up; he wants you to be strong and healed when they do. Perhaps the break you're needing will come when you you you you give it to _yourself_. ykwim?

I feel your pain keenly and personally, as I'm going through the same - xAP's PR firm from Hell is really starting to grate on me. We're going to get through this, Girl. We are! xoxoxoxo

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 5:49pm

Oh Jane,


I'm so sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 8:34pm

Jane,


I thought that too but those reminders you're having is a blessing because though it hurts to the core of your heart yet it will liberate you in a sense it'll make you realize where you at at your xap's life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 9:15pm

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger Jane.

Like LibertyWisdom suggested...this is a blessing in disguise. Listen, when I had Dday with xAP's wife...I snooped on their myspace page and read all these TERRIBLE and HURTFUL things xAP said about me...it cut me to the core. It humiliated me. But I found out that I am better then he will ever be. I am stronger. I am a fighter. Take these lessons to heart and move on. Don't dwell on situations for too long or they will manifest in your heart. Out of sight, out of mind.

So you heard about xAP. Take that with a grain of salt and let it go...don't let yourself think too much about it.

I like Christina Aguilara's song "Fighter" because that always brings me up.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009


No Contact = No New Hurts


Silence is Golden; Silence is Dignified; Silence speaks volumes.



Remember: Out of sight, out of mind.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 9:18pm

Jane,

You are not a bad person. I understand you are hurting, this blows...they just knock us off our feet. I am truly sorry this PR stuff really hurt you. I would have lost it too. It almost like you are being shot with venom and you feel it set in and everything around you falls. The room is spinning and you just wonder why?

Jane, I have read your posts, you come here daily, you have your blog. Bad people do not set out to help and encourage others. You respond to just about every poster. How is it that you think you are terrible? Terrible people do not go above and beyond to help others. They do not spend hours online writing to people they have never met. They do not put in such time and effort. Such care nor such thought. Your insight is astounding. There is nothing terrible about you. Nothing. I wont have you putting yourself down and neither will the rest of this board. U have been a blessing since your arrival. I remember when you started posting. I liked your name...sounded cool and you have had me hooked since the beginning. U have been here, that shows commitment and strength. You have stayed the course. I am truly impressed by you. N that ain't easy to do.

I hope God continues to bless you. This is a bump. A harsh one, but better days are around the corner. You have had em and they will continue to come. You may have a few bad ones but this bad one will equip you to deal with the next and soon the bad will be farther and farther in between.

Wishing a better and more beautiful tomorrow. Let's hope for more sunshine.

Hugs

Luvin

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 6:39am

"Plants need to be watered in the form of rain so that they can welcome the sun when it appears.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 6:47am

Ah, Honey, I'm sorry for the repeated stabs to the heart, but the other gals have given you such heartfelt responses so know that you are loved and

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2009
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 10:13am

Jane,


I feel your hurt.....I too have had the same conversation with God on Numerous occassions....to many to count.

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