Ok, tell me this
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Ok, tell me this
| Fri, 01-22-2010 - 12:34pm |
Why would I not want to respond to xAP's contact? Why would I not want to take control by leading him down the garden path?
| Fri, 01-22-2010 - 12:34pm |
That's just your anger talking Myshadow. Anyway, you not responding to his weak attempt to draw you back in will probably hurt his ego more in the long run. Also, doing what you describe keeps you involved in the A and draws the focus away from you healing and learning from the experience.
What I believe is that by staying engaged and thinking about xAP, you are still trying to escape the reality of your present life...probably what got you into the A itself. You must concentrate on determining what you can change to make your reality one that you want instead of avoiding examining your life. This is what I'm trying to do, perhaps you'll join me?
Keep posting and everyone on here will try to help you.
good luck,
ND4MLK
Shadow~
It's time to get a grip. Now!! Instead of thinking rationally, you are letting your lying junky mind get the best of you. Nothing good comes from this and YOU KNOW IT!
<>
To put it as simply as I can, BECAUSE YOU CANNOT CONTROL SOMEBODY ELSE, and thinking you will get him where you want him will only backfire so damn loud, you'll think a bomb went off in your brain. Game playing is NOT how to end an affair. Game playing is what got you into it. Are you following this line of reasoning?
You are throwing a temper tantrum right now because you are angry at XAP, at us for telling you what you should do, at your father , and at yourself...but you haven't figured this out yet...
Now, be a big girl and take a deep breath...calm down....and if you are not ready to delete and purge, then wait until you are. In the meantime, go back to the HL and read everything AGAIN! Read all the new posts this week that are filled with pain, and if that doesn't help, go sit in the corner and take a time out. ;-)
((hugs))
~ Iddy~
~Iddy~
myShadow (cuz surely this isn't the real me)
Can't handle what? Ending your A or deleting JAM from contacting you? Be very careful here, Shadow. Think long and hard about starting things up again if that's what you are contemplating.
You can go back to your original post and edit it. Hit the edit key, erase what you've written and just type "delete" in it's place.
Love and hugs,
~Iddy~
Because you have no way of knowing he won't dump you first.
Because if you respond, you're giving HIM the power.
Because you don't want to resort to game-playing.
Because YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS.
Phew.
myShadow (cuz surely this isn't the real me)
Well myshadow, I am glad that you came to your senses. While you are healing there will be a thousand (oops sorry...it's A crap...there will be millions) of thoughts flying through your head. That doesn't mean you have to act on them. Do ya really want that Karma to come flying back at you? There will be moments where you hate his guts and will want revenge, but it will pass. They are just thoughts and feelings that's all. Let yourself have them just don't act on them. I live by the philosophy, when in doubt take the HIGH road! You yield much better results that way and you feel better too!
You had a momentary melt down and came to your senses...yay! That's great. Keep up the good work and do exactly what you did if it happens again...come to EAS and let it out.
(((Hugs)))