okay, help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
okay, help!
3
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 11:41am
I have posted before. I am confused. I am trying to keep my head on straight right now and could really use anyone's insight. My ex-OM has been divorced for three years and he is dating. I am going through a divorce right now. My EMA was six years ago and lasted two years, so it has been over for 4 years. OM and I were both married at the time, which is why it ended. Now we are both divorced.( I am going through a divorce now). Our EMA was very intense and there were deep feelings on both sides. Ex-OM and I work together. He has always gone to great lengths to get my attention and to be around me. He still does this even after all of this time and the EMA has ended. OM knows that I am still in love with him and that it is very deep. I'm not sure what his feelings are for me because we haven't discussed it in a while. My question is, why does he go to so much trouble to get my attention and to talk to me? What does he want? Why does he do this? I am very confused.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
In reply to: southerngirl4
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:00pm
Just bumping up a notch. Let me also add that at this point in time, I don't really think that OM is looking to have a relationship with me because he is out dating and having a good time. I don't think that he is looking to settle down right now. So this is why I am confused as to why he goes to so much trouble to get my attention. Any thoughts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
In reply to: southerngirl4
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:12pm
southerngirl,

Have you asked him? If not, do the two of you get along well enough that you could? Maybe he's letting you know he's still interested. Can't hurt to ask him since you will both be single.

Just my 02 cents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: southerngirl4
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 7:49pm

Has it occurred to you that xOM is dating others because you're not fully available and he has been keeping contact with you to see if you are available?


How long until your divorce is final? It wouldn't hurt to have a frank conversation with xOM about timetables and whether or not he wants to pursue a relationship with you after the divorce is final. At least you'd know where you stand without any more conjecture.


As to the past, that affair is in your past. Leave it there. Once you're single, you're single and available to any other single man, including a former affair partner divorced for 3 years who's been waiting for you.


I hope things work out for the two of you.....


cl-nre