Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!
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Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!
| Tue, 07-13-2010 - 1:36pm |
Calling Newbies, Lurkers, Tweeners, Super Tweeners, Super-Duper Tweeners, Vets., Single, Married, Divorced, Widowed (and those temporarily contemplating becoming a widow because SO left the toilet seat up or no gas in the car)…ok hope I included everyone…I’m calling all Enders!
Since there is more to ending an A then just well ending it, I have a question: What boundaries have you put in place to prevent yourself from ever taking a detour down the dark, unpaved,

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Now as I'm healing with almost 6 weeks NC, I am wearing my wedding band 24/7. I have three rings (band, engagement, anniversary) and always took them off see xMM, to do chores, or sleep and didn't wear them to work because of the nature of my job, but I have kept on my wedding band and I look at it all the time.
It is a constant reminder of the promise I made 25 years ago and of the trust my husband has in me. It is a reminder that I am trying very hard to reconnect with my H and be more vested in my marriage.
Like others have echoed, BTDT and never will go down the destructive A path again.
MO @ 50!
MovingON
"I no longer hide behind naïveté. I no longer consider any amount of flirting "harmless". I no longer engage in overly personal conversations with men. I don't play mind games with myself to justify getting ego boosts from the wrong people.
Btdt, and I'll never do it again."
Totally - in a nutshell.
On-going counseling, reading, sharing & re-connecting with family and friends.
Figuring out why I needed the external validation, actually why I have needed it my whole life.
Oh, and I made it to day 90+ ... missed my own wing ceremony.
I will post reflections in a separate thread as it certainly will speak to the steps I have taken.
Love to all,
TU.
LC/NC since April 14, 2010
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
I enjoyed reading your responses. It seems whether one is just beginning their journey out of the A or has a long time out, there is a realization we need to make some changes in the way we think and act. It is all about taking responsibility for our actions and realizing that we didn’t just happen down the A detour.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Dear E1,
You're so selfless
Hi All,
Room – that mindset will definitely help you end the A. Have you been able to do any introspection to figure out why you allowed someone to have power over you and your emotions?
Bodhi-I like your first law! It’s good that you have done a lot of reflection realizing lines that were crossed that shouldn’t have been crossed and areas you need to work in so boundaries are not crossed in the future.
NS-I like that you said you would never allow yourself to be treated like that by another human being. Often when boundaries are weak in one area of our life they are weak in others also.
Dee-<<I no longer engage in overly personal conversations with men>> That is one of my new boundaries also.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
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