OMG - hit with a sledgehammer

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2010
OMG - hit with a sledgehammer
4
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 1:28pm

OMG OMG OMG.....


This is day 8 LC/NC for me and he only works a few feet away in another cubicle...I've managed to avoid almost completely up to this point...until my boss gave me something and told me to discuss it with xAP....


I walked to his cube, saw him for the first time this morning and WHAM. It hit me so hard I almost choked.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 1:33pm

Tears are healthy.

I deserve my Dignity.
NC since 2/4/2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2010
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 2:49pm

You are grieving, the tears and pains in your stomach are definitely going to happen. They won't magically disappear anytime soon, but you will eventually get through this. Doesn't seem like it now, but you will.

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I say yes, definitely do this when/if you need to. Unfortunately you cannot determine the times that your emotions overwhelm you. Don't try and hold it in, because that can only make things worse.

I thankfully don't have to ever see my xAP again, so I can't imagine what it's like for you and the others in a LC situation. My heart goes out to all of you that have to see xAP on a regular basis. When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, please come here and write til your heart is content. We are here for you and will help you get through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2008
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 2:56pm

Misty,


I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2010
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 9:24pm

Thank you so much for replying and giving me the strength to get through today. It was just awful awful. He smashed my heart and I am hurting so very badly. The sick indigestion and muscle cramping in my stomach won't go away, and has gotten worse as the day lingers on. The withdrawal is so very bad...and the temptation to great to reach out to him.

Him...HE is doing great. Laughing and carrying on at work. And I am dying. Can hardly eat. Stomach cramps so bad they made me double over. Body-shaking sobs in the private bathroom upstairs. But then again, of course he's doing great. He...dumped...me. I'm dealing with the rejection. He started seeing someone else and is having the "high" of a new exciting relationship. I'm the one left with the mess to clean up. The one who took the risk of losing my H and child for him. The one who is facing the reality of what I've done. So stupid. So very stupid.

Misty