I went through a similar experience with xAP and W recently. Except the fool waved at me across a crowded auditorium ... to the shock and horror of his W. I didn't give a response to acknowledge that I had even seen him there. All I could think, was how incredibly awful for her that in a moment's time he would once again foreground his need to have his ego-boosted over her well-being. BE so GRATEFUL it isn't you getting into that car. Aren't you relieved that you now demand more for yourself?
Seriously? Think through the triggered emotions and feel the relief. YOU are now safe.
Never, I can't imagine what it would be like to work with an xAP. Mine lives 1000 miles away and its hard enough! You did so well seeing this trigger for what is was, feeling those emotions, and moving through it.
Isn't it amazing how much it helps to be able to come here and vent? Putting those feelings down in black and white really helps to take the intensity out of them and allows us to see them for what they are. And all of those excuses and dreamy fantasies that we used to indulge in to justify the A? Ain't no room for those either when we're trying to explain our actions to vets and tweeners with their finely honed bullsh*t detectors.
You're absolutely right, you don't need him to be happy and you never did. :)
Hi nvr,
Just take some deep breaths....Remember
I went through a similar experience with xAP and W recently. Except the fool waved at me across a crowded auditorium ... to the shock and horror of his W. I didn't give a response to acknowledge that I had even seen him there. All I could think, was how incredibly awful for her that in a moment's time he would once again foreground his need to have his ego-boosted over her well-being. BE so GRATEFUL it isn't you getting into that car. Aren't you relieved that you now demand more for yourself?
Seriously? Think through the triggered emotions and feel the relief. YOU are now safe.
TU.
Yes, TU, I AM RELIEVED that it is no longer me getting into that car (though, to be honest, I WAS jealous at that moment.
Isn't it amazing how much it helps to be able to come here and vent? Putting those feelings down in black and white really helps to take the intensity out of them and allows us to see them for what they are. And all of those excuses and dreamy fantasies that we used to indulge in to justify the A? Ain't no room for those either when we're trying to explain our actions to vets and tweeners with their finely honed bullsh*t detectors.
You're absolutely right, you don't need him to be happy and you never did. :)
Smiles and sunshine
Kat.
Oh, Kat, in the 3 weeks that I've been here, I cannot even count how many times this board has saved me.