I agree with the last poster. You just need to try very hard to move forward again. With each time I had contact I realized more and more how devastating it was to me and how much pain and grief I felt. So much so that my husband even could tell something was wrong with me every-time it happened no matter how hard I tried to act like everything was ok.
I could clearly see how much better I was emotionally as time went on without contact. I even sometimes check my IM just to see that he is there even though I don't say anything and neither does he. I need to stop doing that. For some reason I feel better just knowing he is there.
I think it has been 6 weeks now for me without any contact and even though it is still a daily struggle I do feel much better and more in control of my life. It took 6 or 7 months to even get to that point. It takes time and it is one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. You just have to start back with day 1 and vow to yourself that you will not let it happen again.
Lynn, You slipped up and now you are paying the price. You made a mistake and now have really learned your lesson. Instead of beating yourself up, use this as a tool to strive even harder to work on your M and forget the OM. Instead of looking at this as a bad thing, look at it positively in the fact that now you know you will NEVER go back again. Your H deserves your full attention to working on the marriage so instead of wasting energy on the OM, forget it, move on and be glad you have seen the light.
just remember this >>>>> every 24 hours starts a new day. Start over and make the best of *that* day. I agree with the rest of the girls, don't beat yourself up for the past and focus on the future.
Pages
You can beat yourself up about this or move on to re-commit.
I agree with the last poster. You just need to try very hard to move forward again. With each time I had contact I realized more and more how devastating it was to me and how much pain and grief I felt. So much so that my husband even could tell something was wrong with me every-time it happened no matter how hard I tried to act like everything was ok.
I could clearly see how much better I was emotionally as time went on without contact. I even sometimes check my IM just to see that he is there even though I don't say anything and neither does he. I need to stop doing that. For some reason I feel better just knowing he is there.
I think it has been 6 weeks now for me without any contact and even though it is still a daily struggle I do feel much better and more in control of my life. It took 6 or 7 months to even get to that point. It takes time and it is one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. You just have to start back with day 1 and vow to yourself that you will not let it happen again.
Thank you for the post...
You slipped up and now you are paying the price. You made a mistake and now have really learned your lesson. Instead of beating yourself up, use this as a tool to strive even harder to work on your M and forget the OM. Instead of looking at this as a bad thing, look at it positively in the fact that now you know you will NEVER go back again. Your H deserves your full attention to working on the marriage so instead of wasting energy on the OM, forget it, move on and be glad you have seen the light.
hi lynn,
Lynn
We all have moments of weakness in our healing and grieving process.
Lynn,
I am SO sorry for what you're going through --- if that happened to me, I would be in total despair too.
Thank you everyone for the posts...
hi lynn
just remember this >>>>> every 24 hours starts a new day. Start over and make the best of *that* day. I agree with the rest of the girls, don't beat yourself up for the past and focus on the future.
~iwannabgood
Pages