O.M.Gosh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
O.M.Gosh.
12
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 9:39am

It's been an amazing weekend.

Friday I spent time at my mom's house and we ended up talking - I mean REALLY talking - and she made the comment (which shocked the crap out of me) "I'd be disappointed if you didn't divorce and close off this chapter of your life".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 9:51am

((Lolly))

What a kick in the proverbial pants. I am so sorry. Just when we think we are almost out of the woods.....

<

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 10:39am

ARE YOU EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFING SERIOUS????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UGH.

WOMAN, YOUVE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH.

Im just going to say a prayer.

Listen if ANYONE can handle THIS change of events with GRACE it's YOU.

Lord Be WITH YOU,

I was SOOO STINKEN EXCITED ABOUT YOUR WEEKEND. The hair cut! the Junk food!!! cmon man...

Lord Please give Lolly the strength and wisdom to respond gracefully, yet again.

Xo,

Michelle

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2010
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 10:43am

(((I'm so sorry, Lolly)))

Here's a BIG, FAT (((HUG))), and a dose of Rolaid's for the indigestion for you.

Stay strong Lolly!!!

GF

xo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 11:26am

Oh my dear, Lolly.

Just when you think you've got no more strength left, you get to dig in to find some more. WHICH, I know you will do.

Oh, how awful. I'm so sorry that you are going to be reminded of it and him daily. But maybe this is actually an opportunity to put everything you've learned to the REAL test and by doing so, you are going to grow leaps and bounds. My bet is on this, Lolly. You are going to find out just how strong you are, and you're going to break through any shred of self-doubt and you are going to really, really UNDERSTAND and BELIEVE your

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 11:52am

Oh Lolly... 30+ emails suck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 12:01pm
AH Lolly - you can do THIS.

Remember, you actually don't know this "man" that has the same name as your xAP. KWIM? You only knew some f*ed up version of a fantasy persona ... not him. YOU are not the same person who engaged with that married man. See - you are both strangers to one another. YOU see only the brightness that is your future, and regardless of what bait he sticks on the end of that hook, including the old - itsn't it great that we can still have at least "this" (ya - I got those work emails too) ... you just think to yourself - Hmmm what ever does this stranger mean? And you just keep moving forward. ANOTHER tactic to use is to imagine each and every email is also copied in to his wife and your boss. In fact, in the end, I made sure every single email was also copied to another person so that he KNEW that I wasn't going to go there ever again. He would respond back to me personally, and I would disregard unless there was something work related in it - and then back I would respond copied also to someone else.

YOU can do this ... and just wait until you realize what true personal power you have over this situation.

Much Love,

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2011
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 12:17pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 2:12pm
Thanks to all of you - treating him like a stranger and ignoring the chitchat he has going (he literally is bantering with himself) while cc'ing them to my agent (he has to verify clearance anyway) seems to have taken the stress of it off. I know he is JAM, and I don't know why I let it get under my skin - at the end of the day I know he is nothing. I've been at this for 7 months now You'd think that I wouldn't still get sick to my stomach with it..... argh.


thanks for the support and great suggestions!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 3:18pm
Hi Lolly, I probably shouldn't admit this but I was way more interested in hearing about your amazing job than JAM. :) The work you do sounds incredibly interesting and important to so many people.

You're such an inspiration to newbies like me. He'll figure out soon enough that the woman he's dealing with now is not the woman he thought he knew 7 months ago but one with an unshakeable resolve to live her life with integrity and self-respect.

Hugs and smiles.

Kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 4:18pm
LOL Kat - I do love my job - I work in logistics and engineering - started about 6 years ago as a data entry clerk and what do you know? It's my niche! It is an amazing field, but it's mostly men (cute, computer geek men who share my sci-fi habit and make me feel good :) )
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