Once you asked for NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Once you asked for NC
22
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 11:30pm

did AP try to contact you ? Curious how many had ex-ap's try to contact when they were told you wanted NC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 9:50am

My xAP fishes and fishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 5:14pm
Yeah.. I'm one of those longing for him to contact me. I really miss him today. Feeling defeated. Not sure what set me off, except that it's been 30 days. The amount of time he asked me to wait for him. Kills me to think he may be writing lists about me like I am of him regarding all the bad things. I really did care about him. I think he's relieved that I'm gone, and that hurts. I tried so hard to make him happy. Maybe he doesn't miss me at all. Maybe all the sweet things he said when we ended were just lies. He said " I think you know our paths will cross again" Ugh! Ugh ugh!!!!!!

Today my heart is having trouble keeping up with my brain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 6:06pm

Me too Chechi, me too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 6:32pm

Dear Chechi & Love and anyone else longing to sniff the crack pipe,

First off, I want to say that I am so proud of you both for sticking to NC and the work that you are doing to end the destructive nature of your affair. I have felt what you're feeling & remember what those early days of NC felt like. So, what I would like to say in a most understanding voice is this: snap out of it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 6:54pm

Thanks TU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 7:12pm
Don't you DARE be disappointed in yourself! You're doing all the right things, going through all the expected feelings & thoughts. Negative self-talk will make it worse. In the end, you did what was right for YOU. Sometimes that alone can feel so foreign that instead and standing up and cheering for ourselves we get caught up in whether or not we hurt the other person. So you may have hurt his little ego - much better him than you. And whatever the reason that he isn't contacting you, not your concern. We care about you and we think you are amazing!

Be so proud of where you are at, and not disappointed that you are not in some other place. You are NOT in your affair, and for now that's pretty incredible. Remember to peak back over your shoulder to see how far you have come, as well as looking toward the top of the mountain to see where you are heading.

((hugs))

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 7:46pm
One thing that you have to keep reminding yourself....If he calls you, it's not because he left his W and wants to be with you....it's not because he loves you and can't live without you....it's not because he's so hurt and so concerned about your well-being.
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 9:08pm

TU and Lovin ((((((HUGS))))))) for reaching out and caring enough about me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 9:37pm

One thing that I love about these NC threads, where we discuss how abhorrent it is for X to fish, is that it puts the shoe on the other foot for some of us and reminds us that IF we ever feel like fishing.... well, we know a little about how the X might feel about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 9:55am

I will not allow him to take away my self respect ever again, make me feel less than, like a piece of garbage tossed to the curb, like a piece of azz for him when ever the mood strikes.