One (hopefully) last setback...help me?
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One (hopefully) last setback...help me?
| Tue, 09-28-2004 - 7:23am |
Hey Everyone...
Sorry I've been away for a few days. I've really missed you guys and your posts. Work, weather, and family obligations have kept me off the


First of all - here's a hug.
I'm glad that he finally told you the things you've been waiting so long to hear. I know that I'm waiting too. So that must have felt good.
If you really don't want to live like that (betraying your H) then all you can do is pick up the pieces and stop. You know that. We all know that, and we all know that it's easier said than done. But you CAN do it!
I don't think you made a fool of yourself - you got caught up in the moment. You're human. Forgive yourself and move on.
Figure out a new game plan and stick with it!
I'm rooting for you!!
Remember that the Spider and the fly can naver be friends.
He has one use for you and one only and it is not friendship.
F
Chin high my friend...you CAN do this.
:) Frisco
I'm sorry about your setback. You're right, alcohol and control do not mix. Best bet is not to tip the sauce when at company fuctions, or better yet, avoid these fuctions altogether until you are much stronger. A dangling bone under the nose of a dog is irresistable...and your XMM smelled you a mile away. Next time "BARK" back and tell him to "Role over play dead" as you run for the nearest exit. :)
You'll be OK. It took me 3 tries to finally end my affair so I have no room to scold you.
~True~
Just kidding, Lily, I know you are struggling. I still think you are on the right track. You know in your heart you can't continue this. Like True, it also took repeated attempts for MY affair to end, and ultimately it was a drastic event that ended it. Lucky for me, that drastic event did not involve hurting my H and my kids, but for many people, that's what it takes. Look at daf! Look at need2setl! I know you don't want things to end up like that, so my advice: be strong and end this on YOUR terms, before your world comes crashing down and innocent people get hurt. You love your H, you know you don't want to leave him, so what is the point of continuing down this dangerous path?
You can do it, I know you can!!
Or should I just ignore him?
Thanks all of you, for your posts. I can't wait to feel like Lily again!
Lily
I feel your pain. But mistakes happen (it sounds like you don't need to be convinced this was a mistake) and all you can do is try to make better choices in the future. I certainly wouldn't feel like a fool about it either. If you think about it, it's kind of an empowering way to end it actually....after he spilled his guts and told you everything you wanted to hear. I actually think he likely feels foolish by your apathetic responses to his e-mails.
I would wait until he contacts you again and then tell him the encounter was a mistake and that it is over for good. I wouldn't initiate contact with him to do this, however. Just my thoughts.
-Boomerangs
I haven't read all of the replies yet and I haven't even read all of the new posts here - I'm in a rush - H is due home and mother-in-law from hell is asleep at the moment.
Pat yourself on the back for NOT slinking away from the board and confessing! That is awesome in itself - you are taking ownership of what happened.
Don't know if you should tell him it is over. With my MM it just makes him try harder. Can you tell your OM that you need him as a friend and as a TRUE friend you are asking him to NOT come onto you anymore? If he doesn't abide, well - you will see him for what he is. If he does, you can go back to working on your M and know OM respects that.
It is SOOOO hard when they say what we want to hear!! I feel like this is all part of the process and will be a learning experience!
Gotta run - more later.
e-mail me if you want at deinefreunde@gmx.at
-lazy