One more thought on nostalgia
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| Thu, 10-21-2004 - 1:56pm |
There have been some great posts today. Lots of honesty, emotion and great humor. My xMM was fond of telling how many times he imagined me when he did his “solo performances” in the shower. I guess I was supposed to be impressed!
But there is one real thing I learned from this A.
At one time I was ready to give up my H and M for my xMM. I was caught up in the excitement and frenzy of our attraction. He was it, the one, my perfect fit, it was destiny. I delivered my speech in his car one night after work. I picked him, he was the one I wanted. Let’s take the plunge and realize our potential as a couple. He chose his wife.
Not only was I crushed, but I was humiliated and appalled that I was so ready to give it all away for someone who did not feel the same. I picked myself up, turned around and there was my husband. He still loves me, he picked me, he was the one who wanted to be with me.
I have never felt so ashamed. I almost lost everything that truly mattered. All of the sudden, the emotions, excitement, nostalgia -- everything involved with my A -- were insignificant.
I admittedly have relapsed into old ways now and then. I have broken my NC and started it again. I still have my moments when I want him back, I want to hear his voice and see his face. I swear I can remember exactly how he tastes and smells.
But I’ve also realized what’s important, and recommitted myself to my marriage and fixing myself so I’ll never jeopardize it again. I hold on to those emotions to keep me strong.
Stay strong with me!

(((((SHEL)))))
Loved this post! I hope all of you married ladies take this to heart!
~True~
shel -
Let's toast to 'never jeopardizing our marriages again!'
Here's to STAYING STRONG!
I was in the same boat Shel...and he picked his W (and newborn kid).
Thank goodness it ended before my M was past the point where it could be saved.
Yes, I miss exMM daily. But I know the right thing happened in the end. And as I reflect more on exMM, I realize how many of his faults I overlooked that I could never have lived with long-term even if he'd picked me...so if he had, I doubt we would've lasted very long anyway.
Reality's a bitch...but it can save you.