One time thing or Multiple?
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| Thu, 09-02-2004 - 11:14am |
To help you understand... here is my answer:
NEVER had I imagined I'd EVER be involved with a married man... I'm single and was 150% against infidelity before I had to walk in the shoes. I still believe I'll NEVER be involved with a married man - even more so now than before - just because I see there is NO good ending to it! Anyway - it was a one time thing for me. And I really believe it was a one time thing for my exMM - he told me that MANY times that he'd never do this again and I was the only person he'd ever go outside of his marriage for - and I KNOW he's had opportunities before me that he didn't act on so I DO believe him.
BUT on the other foot is my mothere who had 2 As - one with a man for 8 years and one with a man that started before the other one and although there is NC right now I believe in their hearts it still lives! So... how is it for you? is this your first and ONLY A or have you found yourself involved with more than just one?

as I am married myself.
This was definately a one-time thing for me.
If I ever experience the feelings again for another I will just RUN away!
I got to experience passion, but to me it wasn't worth it. I'm trying to remain friends with my XMM but it is not easy.
But now I have a greater understanding of these situations.
I am now married to my first A. Rather than face the pain of the break-up of a relationship that should have been broken, we chose to give validity to the relationship through marriage. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but that's my life now and I'm living it the best I can.
And 10 years ago, I swore I'd NEVER do it again. I knew the pain. I knew the sadness it brings to families. And I have now done it again.
The only insurance against As is complete and wholehearted investment in your marriage and H. What I didn't understand, however, was that this means not only giving all you can, but making sure you're also getting what you need. I sacrificed my needs for a long time; it wasn't that I didn't voice them, but I just continued to accept his failure to meet them. We went to counseling, and made every effort. I should have removed myself from the marriage a year ago, recognizing what was going on, but I didn't want to admit it wasn't working. So...now here I am again, suffering from another A.
This time, I'm not foolish enough to believe that the A is an answer to anything and, particularly, that the XMM is any sort of answer. So I'm getting out, facing my marriage head-on and we'll see what happens!