The one who cares the least....
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| Tue, 03-02-2004 - 3:59pm |
When we were just friends, my MM used to tell me that he didn't have much of a relationship with his wife. After we became lovers, he would tell me that he didn't want to be the one to end it but hoped that she would just tell him that she wanted a divorce. I would tell him that he was saying that because he felt like he was in the "position of power" but would feel differently if she were to make that decision. Sure enough, when she asked him to move out, he freaked out and really started re-thinking some things. We still continued our affair for the next 9 months, but it was at that point that our relationship started developing issues....other than the obvious fact that he was married.
I've also noticed that over the last 9 months of our affair, one of us would get strong enough decide the relationship needed to end. The other one would try to convince and conjole the strong one into continuing. At some point, the other one of us would begin to try to accept that the relationship was over. Invariably the "strong" one would then have second thoughts and would smooth things over so the relationship could continue. The interesting thing is that I don't think that either of us used it as manipulation...I know I was never emotionally uninvolved enough for it to be manipulation. It was more of a way of trying to survive a tough situation.
Has any one else noticed this?

Yes, I do agree with your professor's statement. Thanks for sharing it.
JMO
Katja