How amazing of you to come back and post here. Thank you. I want to be you- to be able to say confidently that I've washed that man out of my hair. Not be this limp dishrag sobbing on the bathroom floor. So it DOES get better. But I can see from your example that there is a long road ahead of me.
Gal! OMGosh! Fabu! Congratulations! You're a shining example that a happy ending is possible - especially to any who think a long-term A that they didn't end yourself is something from which one doesn't recover. It wasn't easy for you, but you stuck to your guns, kept your promises to yourself, and you rocked it! You have your life back -- and I bet you're better now than ever before. So happy for you.
Thank you for coming back and sharing this wonderful event with us.
Many thanks to all of your for your wonderful responses! I can honestly say, it hasn't been easy, and it's taken MEGA resolve to get to this point, but it really feels better than I can possibly express in words. I'm also not saying that at one year it's magically in the past and you forget all about it - there is still work ahead as I continue to move forward. Given that the A lasted on and off for 8 years, I feel it will take me many years to be 110% "over it", but I'm ok with that. In the past, when things would end, I would wake up the next day and say "ok, time to move on." Until this ending, I never let myself grieve the loss, feel the anger, and really take a good look at myself in the mirror and take responsibility for my role in the mess. It was always so easy to blame him, make him out to be the jerk, but really, I was a jerk too. And facing the ugliness head on has also helped me move ahead, instead of burying the feelings under the surface so that when he would inevitably come back around, I would be ready, willing, and able to let those emotions bubble up and get right back into the A.
Yes, it's a long road, but it's a rewarding one. I have never felt so empowered as I did when I blocked him from my email and ignored the handful of phone calls over the last 12 months. Not only did it reinforce my resolve, but it sent a BIG message to him that I am truly done with this and not the least bit interested in starting up again. I'm quite certain that the message sent by my silence was clearer than any long email I could have ever written to him, or any long goodbye we would have had.
((GAL))
Woo hoo! I am so proud of you, sweetie. Welcome to VetVille
<
~Iddy~
Congrats Gal! I'm going to try to attach your award for Iddy - I've never attached a graphic before, so if it's messed up, I apologize!
(edit: looks like it worked - click on it to enlarge) Hopefully with the new message boards, it will be easier to embed files :)
Edited 10/1/2010 7:22 am ET by bodhi2010
Gal!
OMGosh! Fabu! Congratulations! You're a shining example that a happy ending is possible - especially to any who think a long-term A that they didn't end yourself is something from which one doesn't recover. It wasn't easy for you, but you stuck to your guns, kept your promises to yourself, and you rocked it! You have your life back -- and I bet you're better now than ever before. So happy for you.
Thank you for coming back and sharing this wonderful event with us.
All the best,
Dee
Gal
Thank you sooooo much for coming back a year later to give us newbies hope. I think I'll do the same. Its amazingly powerful.
I need to focus on forward I think. Im so caught up in looking backwards and why it all had to stop, that Im not looking forward at all!
Thank you Gal
Iggyxx
Here's a BIG CYBER HIGH FIVE to you, Gal!
Oh wow gal.
Garfy
NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...
Fate d
Many thanks to all of your for your wonderful responses! I can honestly say, it hasn't been easy, and it's taken MEGA resolve to get to this point, but it really feels better than I can possibly express in words. I'm also not saying that at one year it's magically in the past and you forget all about it - there is still work ahead as I continue to move forward. Given that the A lasted on and off for 8 years, I feel it will take me many years to be 110% "over it", but I'm ok with that. In the past, when things would end, I would wake up the next day and say "ok, time to move on." Until this ending, I never let myself grieve the loss, feel the anger, and really take a good look at myself in the mirror and take responsibility for my role in the mess. It was always so easy to blame him, make him out to be the jerk, but really, I was a jerk too. And facing the ugliness head on has also helped me move ahead, instead of burying the feelings under the surface so that when he would inevitably come back around, I would be ready, willing, and able to let those emotions bubble up and get right back into the A.
Yes, it's a long road, but it's a rewarding one. I have never felt so empowered as I did when I blocked him from my email and ignored the handful of phone calls over the last 12 months. Not only did it reinforce my resolve, but it sent a BIG message to him that I am truly done with this and not the least bit interested in starting up again. I'm quite certain that the message sent by my silence was clearer than any long email I could have ever written to him, or any long goodbye we would have had.
Love and Hugs to All of You!
Gal