Oooph, that hadda hurt!
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| Thu, 02-04-2010 - 9:39am |
There are a few posts I've read on the board about how xAP did something soooo awful during a romantic encounter that, when I think about them, it's a punch in the gut. Some of this is because I empathize and some is because it brings up painful memories. I know it best to not wallow or let xAP and and A live in your head too much, but I thought making a list of these horrid reminders might be helpful.
A few of mine:
For our first romantic encounter not in the backseat or in his studio (Ok, sex session -- there's nothing romantic about it anymore)... he booked a _cheap_, run-of-the-mill hotel/motel, and proceed to inform me that, "hey, we booked all of our out of town wedding guests here!" Can you friggin' _imagine_! Talk about an over-share. "TMI, you idiot!"
He once entered me without a condom, before I could protest, he was done! I wanted to throw up. We had a very strict rule against that. I am not on birth control (H has had a vasectomy) and I have herpes and he does NOT. I drove home bawling my eyes out thinking I could have gotten pregnant, but even more so about I could have infected him and his poor, poor wife. We broke up for a while after that.
I wanted to bring up exclusivity (I know, gag at the hypocrisy!) , so anyway... I eased into the conversation by saying, "ya know, oral sex without a condom is NOT safe sex." and then told him that if he could tell me he's not messing around on the road with groupies....... (long pause). His reply was I didn't have to swallow, if I didn't want to. It was my choice --- OMG. he said this while I was butt nikked between his scrawny, hairy, pasty white legs. Gee, what a nice way to let me know he's a complete manwhore.
I know, I know... I got myself into all this shiz on my own. I'm at fault for putting myself in those situations. It's so disgusting! Whenever I wax romantic about X and the sex, I'll remember this stuff and snap out of it.
Gagging,
Dee

Hey Dee,
You poor thing!!!!! I really do feel sorry for you.
If I had not experienced things like this myself, I might have thought that no one (no man) would ever do this to a woman! But unfortunately they do.
LOL you sure made me laugh when you wrote about his "scrawny, hairy, pasty white legs"!
Now, the experience I wrote about in the other thread, was such an awful experience. I was giving him a bj in the bathroom and when he was done, the phone rang , he literally JUMPED over me and guess who was left with the sperm??? (Each time HTGO thinks about it, she starts gagging)
And each time after sex, he would jump up (such a jumper he is!) and say: "ooh, I really need a cigarette".
What about a text that said: "Come. xxx"
Stupid, stupid me would go and find him in the bathroom, he would do what he wanted to do (two minutes!) and after that, he'd say: "oh I really have to do some grocery shopping now. Bye."
So many hurts!!! But I wrote them all down, when I start to feel 'warmer' feelings for him again, all I have to do, is read about what happened in the past.
hugs!
htgo