Opinions Please!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Opinions Please!!
15
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 5:41pm

Hi All

Well I never thought I'd be posting something like this, but I need opinions fast.

Does the following constitute cheating/how would you girls feel about it:
Your H lip-locking/making out w/another woman in a film (not a homemade one or a porno, but a real film).

I mean I know it's not "real life" and it's not like he has feelings for her (yet), but I just don't know how to feel about it. Goodness knows I've done worse, but still...

Thanks, Blue

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 10:45pm

Blue

Could you take an interest in acting/film making do some hanging out with them just to make your presence felt, so they will see you as a real person.

I expect that your also a looker as well so you will fit in with the crowd pretty well, try to be a little proactive, take an interest in what interests your husband.

It's going to take time and "deliberate" effort to rebuild your connection with hubby nothing just happens by it's self.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 11:08pm

Free,

He just called to say he wouldn't be home til real late, that I should just go to sleep. He said he couldn't talk b/c they needed him & got off the phone. He sounded cold & distant. I looked up the script of what they were shooting (he had it saved on the computer). Apparently it involved lots of passionate kissing. I'm sick to my stomach, but I know I have no right to complain.

He has been very adamant about his new friends being a separate part of his life, something that is all his. I did ask twice to come along on outings, but both times he made it obvious that I wasn't really welcome, that it was "their" thing. So now I'm going to go cry myself to sleep like the big loser baby I am.

Blue

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 11:25pm

Blue

Cold and distant could just as easly mean tired and stressed out from a long difficult day.

YOUR NOT A LOSER, you were stupid just like the rest of us around here, but you got your SH$T together a real loser would not have, I don't waste my time on losers dear.

Was his refusal before or after you had your talk and started rebuilding, if before time for another talk, if after time for another talk, either way you need to discuss this with him in mannor that will get his attention with out causing a rift.

Hang in there kid.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 5:45pm

Blue,

If it's not a homemade film or a porno, I take it your husband is an actor or something? If so, you're not serious, are you? You don't really consider that to be cheating, do you? Not trying to make you feel bad, just don't get where you're coming from. Of course it's not cheating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sat, 12-18-2004 - 2:02am

Blue,

You may want to talk to your H about how you are feeling. Does he know about your A? If so, maybe he is just trying to get back at you by staying out late and making you worry.

As an actor, I know sometimes we get 'clickish' and just ahng out in groups - especially after a shoot. But there have been plenty of times my H has come along with me too.

And yes, 14 hour work days are normal in acting :-)

Diva

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