Pacdover!!!! Our newest Tweener!

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Pacdover!!!! Our newest Tweener!
Sun, 12-16-2012 - 9:46pm

I'm sorry for almost overlooking this important milestone.  Congratulations!  You made it!  3 months NC...3 months affair free.

Girl, you have been such an asset to this Board, I can't tell ya.  Yes I can!  Your willingness to share and put yourself out there, and your willingness to reach out to others has been been quite remarkable.

You rock!  

Here are your wings...wear them proudly because you deserve them.  May they take you to new heights and fly you back here in 3 months for acknowledgement of your Super Tweener status.

Congratulatory ((hug))


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Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Sun, 12-16-2012 - 10:32pm

Wooohoot! Congrats Pac-woman! Three months is huge, especially the FIRST three months They are just lousy but you did it, in spite of the e-quake in IVillage. Enjoy the milestone, the wings, and the company - there's still work ahead and you are on track. XO Daisy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Mon, 12-17-2012 - 7:45am
Congrats Paclover! You so deserve this! you are a great asset to the board. Your willingness to dig deep and put it out there is inspiring..... See you in super tweenville really soon! Hugs Sunny Soon Xxx
Avatar for happyasme
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Mon, 12-17-2012 - 12:25pm

Congrats Pac!

We are very fortunate to have you as a member here and appreciate you sharing your story, warts and all.  And WOW, such wisdom in your most recent posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2012
Sun, 12-23-2012 - 9:51pm

Hi, WC!

Thanks for this.  I needed it!  I am still facing challenges in my M, but without the backdrop of sheer madness that being in an A can bring.

I would be lying if I said I do not think about my xAP, which I've always maintained is the one area that NC cannot reach.  But I *do* know that an A is absolutely not a healthy way out of a bad marriage - it's a temporary (and poor) escape from one.

I'm still working on my marriage and it continues to be a challenge.  My H has so much anger - anger that is not mine to own.  At times he appropriately takes ownership of it; other times he plays the blame game.

I still do not know where we are going, but I do know that I will have no part of it unless this anger gets permanently resolved.

At any rate, my progress is a result of simply doing the right and healthy thing.  Getting out of an A that had no future; no real hope of going anywhere, and was founded in deceit was essential.  There 's no way it was going to end happily, as so few do.

I had no choice but to face the sad music of my own M and deal with it head-on. 

I do know this:  I want a future filled with happiness, mutual respect with my partner (whether that's my current H or someone else) and a happier ending than where I seem to be headed unless things change.

My MC is assuring me that feelings for my H will return, but, so far, they have not.  I am willing to give it more time.

Anyway, so glad to be a tweener.  I am so much more like my old self now, after three months of NC.  I'm once again thinking clearly, and feel more confident again.  An A is just so debilitating, both mentally and physically.

Thanks for the well-wishes and I look forward to continuing to document progress and provide my own brand of advice!

Merry Christmas to my friends who celebrate it, and Happy Holidays.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2012
Tue, 12-25-2012 - 5:49pm

Thanks, Daisy.  Your support means alot to me.  It's been a tough holiday week.  I am in a very stressful marriage with someone who is insecure and angry - and had been before we ever got married.  We are currently going through the difficult task of selling off some assets that we can no longer afford.  My H is uncooperative, angry about the sale of these things and is not helping me make progress.  He says he wants to be involved (i.e. calling the guy who is able to sell our boat for us) but then takes no proactive action.

I have days when I have some hope for this relationship, and then the verbal abuse happens all over again.  I am tired and part of me wants out.  I cannot stand his touch.  Christmas only made things worse; made me think how much I wanted to be happy - perhaps with a better partner.

I have re-discovered my spirituality and have begun to pray/meditate in a small private chapel in my town.  I am seeking enlightenment and answers as to my path forward.

Thanks again for your encouragement.  Hopefully at some point in the future, I'll be looking back on this time when I am in a better place.