Part 2; How I did it

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Part 2; How I did it
8
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 8:28am

Sorry it's taken me so long to finish the post I started.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 9:15am

Good Morning~


Thank you for finishing this post and putting it all out there for us.


The bottom line is your affair will end when you want it to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 9:22am

You are so right in your post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 9:43am

this is one of the best, most powerful post I've read on this board.
It needs to be at the top of everybody's Refer-To library, for sure. Your strength and pro-activeness is inspiring.

All very good points but this one slayed me:
"When I gave myself permission to continue the secrecy, the deception and the possible sexual favors, I said no." Giving yourself permission. wow. Then YOU, we, make the choice to say no. Whether AP left us, or we left them - doesn't matter. The world's condemnation didn't stop us while we were contemplating the A, nor while we were in it.... it has to be within us to end it. It has to be US who says No. We are not going to accept the end until it comes from _within_ and is not from circumstances or others. So very powerful to realize that WE are making the choice; we have the power, the responsibility, the right to say, "I choose NO."

I am so moved.
Thank you for posting this.
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 10:22am

Hey Victory,
Thanks for writing this down! In a few minutes I am going to see and try to send you an email (maybe you haven't had time for it yet).
I am also very curious when your AP became your XAP and how that happened?

Hugs,
HTGO

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 12:05pm

HTGO,


If you are looking for an incident where xAP and I had a final conversation, a cut and dry decision to end it...that didn't happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 12:25pm

Victory, I was a lurker back in the day when you posted often.. Always love to hear what you have to say...I went NC back in November and have to say I was rushing the process too.

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 12:33pm
I just sent you something through your profile.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 1:56pm
I love your posts! This has helped me today. Thank you!!!