Pit in stomach
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Pit in stomach
| Thu, 01-13-2005 - 2:44pm |
Today I just feel a pit in my stomach. I feel nauseated. It reminds me so much of where I used to be ALL THE TIME. I guess it is because of the 3 vm I received from xMM. I decided NOT to give him back his rosary because it is a form of contact. I will just keep the NC at all cost.
In his vm he said that he *wants* to get over me and get out of the pain, but hasn't been able to yet. Still looks for me everywhere. Loves me more today than he ever has. Is overwhelmed. Is dead inside because he can't love anyone else but me. But he finally said that he would be stronger and would be able to keep NC.
It really hurts physically again today.
Survive

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I have been getting so much strong just by reading all these posts. I had been wondering if I should send a "final" email to my XMM even though there has been NC for almost 3 months. He has something that belongs to me and that has been bothering me. So that is what I said in my email to him, I need that back so that there won't be anything left to contact each other about. I read another post somewhere that said send the email and get rid of the extra email address so he can't respond. I told him not to respond to my email or call me. His response to me will be that I get my item back from him at my PO Box. I hope he sends it back without a note though.
I know I broke the NC rule and opened up many painful feelings. But like I said I'm getting stronger everyday and I know I will get through this.
These message boards have been so helpful for me. Hang in there everyone!
Dallas
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