Please have patience with me today...
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| Mon, 05-10-2004 - 1:36pm |
Well, my office is less than a mile from home, so I ran home at lunchtime to get something healthy to eat (I gorged myself on ice cream cake yesterday) and I happened to see something I wish I "hadnta." I've been seeing this particular car parked by my across the street neighbor's house occasionally for about a year. I happened to notice in the past that a man always leaves her house and gets into it. I'm not snooping, mind you, I've just happened to see him a few times. So today I got home for lunch and I saw him dash out her back door (which is really on the side of the house), hop into his car and take off. I also saw the blinds in her kitchen open seconds after he pulled away. I guess I put all my 40+ years of experience together to conclude that this is an A!
So this bothers me because I'm thinking, hey, if she can do it, why can't I????? Crazy, irrational, and unreasonable, I know. That was just my thought and I need to share it with you all. And of course she knows her secret is safe with me because she saw OMM coming and going from my house during the day all the time...
UGH! Help me get a grip on these hormones!!!! Love, Mo.


One thing that helps me is recognizing what it is that makes me feel 'together' and in control. When I'm in a slump I force myself to work through some of the items on the list and it really does help. It definitely starts with an orderly environment, nothing brings you down more than chaos, also time with friends, exercise, looking good, creating something - baking, gardening, painting, getting out in the sunshine, etc., getting something done that I've been putting off. Anything that makes you feel accomplished. As you have pointed out, it all starts with the feeling of a void - so basically anything that makes you feel fulfilled will help.
One more thing to think about...perception is everything. Yes, many of us feel a void. How do we turn this around? Do we try to fill the void in healthy ways, OR do we deal with the perception. Maybe another person living our life would be perfectly happy - maybe its to do with our attitude. Not sure, just something to think about...
I think, for today, just give yourself the space and peace of mind that you, perhaps, aren't thinking as you normally would, because you are perhaps not at your best physical self. That's what i try and do anyway. When the PMS creeps up I usually give myself the day off from making important decisions or having important interactions. (I totally blew this last Monday, because when you are in the throes of PMS, you just don't see that is why you are acting so irrationally).
You are probably envious somewhat of your neighbor, that she is in the middle of her A and hasn't (yet) had to go through all that we've gone through on this board. Seeing her, and her man dash out, only brought back some of those memories, when things were simplier and the A was new and rich and held promise.
I am thinking of you today.
Clarice