I remember reading a post from you a couple of weeks ago where you said basically the same thing you are saying now. You are not happy, he is using you for sex, that he told you from the beginning he would not get emotionally involved...I know it's only been 2 weeks since you told us this, so how many more two weeks at a time are you going to accept this kind of treatment, only to get fed up after each one passes?
You see, you have to make the decision that you are not going to be his doormat any longer. You have to gather up enough dignity to not stand for this anymore. It's an addictive cycle that will only end when YOU put a stop to it. He cannot suck you back in if you refuse to take his calls, answer his txts, or respond to his emails. As another already said, Nc=No new hurts and the reason we promote this mantra is because it works. Of course it's hard to break things off, and everyone understands this, as we've all had to go through it. But the FIRST step begins with you, honey.
Not that I am an expert but I am ending a 4 1/2 year roller coaster ride and what I had to do when he tried to contact me was I pissed him off. I told him to stop calling or contacting me.
Hi Jap.. I've been reading your posts and was wondering how you've been. To answer your question of why you can't give him up: don't see this as a relationship but as an addiction. No addict "likes" or "is attracted" to drugs/alcohol/pick your poison, as a matter of fact, an addict hates the stuff, but can't keep away from it.
Then, the question becomes how do you give up an addiction? Well, that's what this board is for. And reading a whole bunch of material available here or at your local library. The answer is out there, but you need to want to find it.
Best of luck.. and do come back often and rant and vent and anything else you'd like to do.. to get to the other side.. to wake up one morning finally to feel.. just fine.
Hi jap, and welcome to EAS.
You will quickly find that you are not alone in your struggles and that most of us have gone through what you're feeling now, at one time or another.
I am a newbie.
J_LIL,
I remember reading a post from you a couple of weeks ago where you said basically the same thing you are saying now. You are not happy, he is using you for sex, that he told you from the beginning he would not get emotionally involved...I know it's only been 2 weeks since you told us this, so how many more two weeks at a time are you going to accept this kind of treatment, only to get fed up after each one passes?
You see, you have to make the decision that you are not going to be his doormat any longer. You have to gather up enough dignity to not stand for this anymore. It's an addictive cycle that will only end when YOU put a stop to it. He cannot suck you back in if you refuse to take his calls, answer his txts, or respond to his emails. As another already said, Nc=No new hurts and the reason we promote this mantra is because it works. Of course it's hard to break things off, and everyone understands this, as we've all had to go through it. But the FIRST step begins with you, honey.
<
~Iddy~
Thanks Everyone.
J_LIL -
You CAN go NC.
Welcom JAP...I'm sorry
Not that I am an expert but I am ending a 4 1/2 year roller coaster ride and what I had to do when he tried to contact me was I pissed him off. I told him to stop calling or contacting me.
NC since 2/4/2010
Hi Jap.. I've been reading your posts and was wondering how you've been.
To answer your question of why you can't give him up: don't see this as a relationship but as an addiction. No addict "likes" or "is attracted" to drugs/alcohol/pick your poison, as a matter of fact, an addict hates the stuff, but can't keep away from it.
Then, the question becomes how do you give up an addiction? Well, that's what this board is for. And reading a whole bunch of material available here or at your local library. The answer is out there, but you need to want to find it.
Best of luck.. and do come back often and rant and vent and anything else you'd like to do.. to get to the other side.. to wake up one morning finally to feel.. just fine.
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