Please help...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Please help...
16
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 3:20pm
I have not been here in a week or so because I have been doing good keeping NC and moving on. I am happy with my decision to end affair and I am eager to improve relationship with husband. The last time I saw OM was September 24 and it was a week after that I decided to end affair. We had IC then and now I am 4 days late starting my period. I am never late. I am scared to death that I might be pregnant and if so what do I do?!?

Please help.
~*april*~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 4:51pm
Before you waste any more energy worrying about it -- find out for sure. An ept test is supposed to be accurate the first day after your missed period... You may be worrying for nothing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 5:31pm
Lissa

Ditto, if you are do some thinking were you and hubby active at the right time, did you use protection with XMM, don't assume the worst, assume it is hubbies.

The mental stress of ending it may have pyhsical effects and put your time off.

Free


Edited 10/18/2004 5:34 pm ET ET by mefreenow

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 6:58pm

Oh April...

I was where you are a few weeks ago. Put off getting my depo shot and then had IC on a ONS. Time came but I was late... and like you I am NEVER late... dh and I have sex every day so I was thinking, well, it could be his. But I was frantic. Then 5 days late I came around.

I agree with the others, its probably just stress. That's one thing about having affairs, an incredible amount of tension.

Get an ept. And have faith.

Susie M

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 12:41pm
I am Pregnant!!! I took EPT test the night before last. Ofcourse I told hubby and ofcourse he assumes it is his but I don't think it is. MY huuby always pulls out XOM did not. I am so stupid for letting this happen. I got caught up in the moment I guess, it was the only time we ever had IM. Usually I track my ovulation and don't have IC at all during that time but I must have ovulated early which is common for me. My Doc took me off Birth control pills becuase it was making my blood pressure crazy. I was in the process of finding other alternative. I am 6 weeks pregnant! What do I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 1:15pm

Wow!!!! This is some news! It's crazy how we get caught up in situations like this. I must admit I also thought I was in the same shoes as you. My period is irregular, so I am ALWAYS late. My H and I use the same method of protection as you do, he pulls it out all the time. However, with MM we used protection the first day and then none after that. How stupid is that! Not only I have to worry about getting pregnant that way, but also AIDS and other STD's. MM never uses protection with his W, because she can't have any more babies. So, I guess he hasn't used condoms since he's been married. I am still worried that what if I am pregnant now. I was supposed to get mine 4 days ago, but as I said I am ALWAYS late. I wonder how MM would react if in deed I was pregnant. In my situation, however, it's VERY tough since I am a white woman having an affair with a black guy....so, I can't even play monopoly in keeping the baby (if I was pregnant).

As far as advice for you! You have 4 choices: 1.) If you are pro-life and don't believe in abortions, then you would have to keep the baby and if you don't want to tell your husband about the A, then you wouldn't tell him it's not his (if you are sure about that!), 2.) Keep the baby and tell your husband about the A, because he would be raising that baby as his own, when in fact it's not, 3.) If you do keep the baby, before you jump to conclusions that it's not H's baby, I would somehow get a paternity test to make sure who the father is, 4.) And last, but not least, if you really think this would stir up a heck of a lot of trouble for everyone, then I guess you would have to terminate the pregnancy. I don't really wanna get into that though, since I don't want pro-life people jumping down my throat. It's a private matter, you would have to decide that for yourself and SOON!

Good luck!

Sadgirl37

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 2:11pm
I am leaning towards terminating the pregnancy simply because I don't want to deal with all of that. My husband and I don't want anymore children right now anyway. He says it is up to me and he supports my decision. I sent xom an e-mail, actually 3 e-mails and he is toatlly ignoring me. He is not married and does not have any children. He is 20 years older than I am. I cannot believe I have gotten into this!!
Thanks for the reply,
April
....and for anyone reading this, please keep all of your pro-life comments to yourself.
~*april*~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 2:13pm
((HUGS)), so sorry you have to face this very difficult decision. Thank you for sharing, it is an important eye-opener for people to realize just how real the consequences of an A can be!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 3:07pm
You are so right! All this for a man who ignores my e-mails! My affair was over. We had no contact. Atleast I thought it was over. Who would have ever guessed this would happen. It is my worst nightmare come true but it is almost as if I am in denial about the whole thing. I have not shed one tear. I guess I have more important things to think of like the life inside of me and if I should keep it.
Thank for the support and I wish you all the best of luck.
I will keep you posted.
April
~*april*~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 3:34pm
April,

YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!!!!! I wrote you a feedback before and I posted a new one under "Serious trouble! Need feedback ASAP!"

I am pregnant too! I am irregular with my period, so I didn't think much of it that it's 1 week late. However, for some odd reason I decided to do a pregnancy test and oh boy, I saw those 2 pink lines pop up, I almost fainted.

I definitely have to terminate mine! I feel your pain just as much and I am with you on this.

Good luck! Let me know your outcome.

Sadgirl37

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 1:51pm
April,

Since we are both in the same shoes right now, I want to give you as much support as possible!!!!!

I went to the clinic today with my H. I told him I was pregnant yesterday. He thinks it's his, however, I still didn't tell him about the A. He supported me with my decision to terminate the pregnancy. I felt really bad, because H is the one who was with me throughout the whole thing, while xMM is moving on with his life an hasn't got a clue as to what I have gone through today.

You know there are other alternatives to surgical abortion. Just so you know. I don't know what state you live in, but there is also the abortion pill and since you said you are 6 weeks, you qualify for it.

You said you e-mailed xMM and told him about the pregnancy, but he didn't respond? My xMM still doesn't know, but I will tell him because he also needs to stop with the A's. I am sure I wasn't his first A and won't be the last either.

Good luck!

Sadgirl37

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