Please help...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Please help...
16
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 3:20pm
I have not been here in a week or so because I have been doing good keeping NC and moving on. I am happy with my decision to end affair and I am eager to improve relationship with husband. The last time I saw OM was September 24 and it was a week after that I decided to end affair. We had IC then and now I am 4 days late starting my period. I am never late. I am scared to death that I might be pregnant and if so what do I do?!?

Please help.
~*april*~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 2:12pm
So did you have the AB? IF so did you go with the AB pill? I am having to drive 2 hours to Jacksonville, Fl to have it done because it is the closest place. Atlanta was the other option and it is 4 hours away. I thought about the AB pill but sometimes they want you to make 2/3 trips back to make sure the AB is complete. I also talked to one person who said she had a hard time because it happens at home and sometimes you can make out some of the feautres of a baby. I don't want to scare you and it can't be worse than hearing them vacuum everything out. I am so scared and so worried. My husband has also been very supportive. He agrees that we don't need another child right now and ofcourse thinks it is his. I am just so hurt because even though A was over I thought xOM would atleast respond. Thanks for the support and I am hear for you as well.

~*april*~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 6:47pm
April,

I went to the clinic today with H. Yes, I had the AB pill. I think it's better than the surgical procedure. I had this done before, so I know what to expect. It's done in the privacy of your own home, so I think it's better. I only have to go back 3 weeks later for a follow-up visit. Read more about it online, it will give you a better idea. It's like a miscarriage, so I don't think of it as an actual AB.

I also want to tell xMM. We broke up on Friday. Spoke to him on Sunday because I was having a VERY hard time getting over him, so I called him. First it went to voicemail, then later on he actually picked up. He wasn't too eager to speak to me though.

I am also a bit sceptical whether I should tell xMM about this, because he will probably deny it's his, plus he might try to make it seem like it's all my fault. I just want to tell him, because let him also realize what this whole A has done.

Let me know what the outcome is for you. I am with you. Hang in there!!!! But do try to ask your doc about the AB pill. I really think it's better and safer.

Hugs!!!!!!

Sadgirl37

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 1:34pm
April,

Feel like I know you already b/c we talked to a few times!

I saw xMM today on my way to work. We didn't talk, because H was with me. When I got to work, I called xMM and left him a voice message saying that we need to talk, something terrible has happened. He finally called me back and left me a voice message (I was away from my desk) and he actually sounded concerned.

He called again and we talked for about 30 minutes. I told him I was pregnant. To my surprise he was supportive and felt VERY sorry. He kept repeating himself "I am soooo sorry....." He even offered to pay for the AB and told me he wants to know every detail as to what is going on with my AB. I didn't call him to ask for money, but at least he offered. He sounded very nervous and he didn't even deny that the baby is not his.

I really thought that he won't care, I know maybe I shouldn't have said a word to him about this, but I want him to know, because I am going through so much pain right now.

My H doesn't know about the A and the only person I can freely discuss this agony I am going through is xMM.

Did your xMM ever e-mail you back???

Sadgirl37

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 9:16pm
April,

It's been a while since you posted. What is your status on the AB? I did mine over the weekend, but it's still not final yet. I have to go back for a follow-up visit in 2 weeks and then the doc will let me know if everything went well, or not.

I took the AB pill and on Friday night I was so sick, I thought I was going to die. I vomitted, had a 103F fever, chills, dizziness, you name it. While H wasn't the father of this baby (and he doesn't know that), he is the one who stood by me while I was sick. He stayed up with me all night long while I went through pain and agonizing. Who knows what xMM did on this night!? I told xMM about the pregnancy and what I was gonna do and that Friday was the night for the termination. I wonder if he ever cared one bit, if he even thought about me going through this ordeal. I doubt it.

I have an appointment with a counselor on Tuesday. I don't plan on going to her more than 2 or 3 visits. I was pretty depressed last Sunday and cried for a few days, but now I am definitely getting better.

I am looking forward to many good things in life. I want to take some dance classes, and my H and I even talked about having a baby next year. Regardless that H doesn't know this current baby wasn't his, we weren't going to keep it this time around because it wasn't planned to begin with.

Just wanted to see how you were doing. Keep us posted!!!!

Sadgirl37

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 11:47am
Hey. I survived! It was so nice to hear form you. I went on Saturday to the clinic and had the AB. It went extremely well. I was shocked at the level of care I received and at how nice they were. The worst part was the wait. Anyway, I had sedation which helped but I remeber feelin pain and thinking I did not know how much more I could take. The whole proceedure took 7 minutes, the actual AB took 4 minutes. I have had very light bleeding but I am doing great. I even took my daughter who is 14 months old to a fall festival that night when I got home. I expected a lot worse. I know this was the right decision for me. So far, no depression. xOM still has not responded. I wonder if he just blocked all my emails. Anyway he is an a**hole! I hope to talk to you again soon. You are in my thoughts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 12:38pm
I am glad to hear everything went well for you. I am still not sure whether mine went well, or not, because I did the AB pill.

On Friday night I took the first dose of pills and had cramps that was almost like being in labor. Even the Tylenol with codine didn't help ease the pain. Then I had very high fever, vomitted, chills, etc. My husband was beside me the whole time and he was really worried about me.

On Saturday I took the second dose of pills and this time, I didn't have no fever, vomitting, cramps, etc. So, I am a bit worried that the AB is not complete, because you are supposed to bleed like having a miscarriage and I didn't. I am supposed to go back for a follow-up in 2 weeks and they will tell me if everything went well, or not. If not, then I have to have a regular AB like you did. I am very scared!!!!

I saw xMM today by accident, since we commute to work on the same train and it was so painful seeing him. We both looked the other way and didn't even say hi to each other. We basically became enemies. The last time we spoke was last Thursday and on Friday he left me a very angry voice message. So, basically I won't be calling him again and I don't think he will call me either.

xMM is probably moving on with his life and will eventually have another A, while I am suffering inside and my heart and soul is crushed.

I have my first counseling session tomorrow. I hope it will help me. I am not depressed anymore. I stopped crying, but I am still VERY hurt and very much miss xMM.

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