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| Mon, 10-04-2004 - 12:44pm |
Some of you probably remeber my post from Friday (My unhappy ending). Well My OM is online right now and it is taking eveything I have not to contact him. This is the first time he has been online since I sent him an e-mail saying it was over, I could not do this anymore...... I want to e-mail him and tell him I changed my mind but I know I can't. I cant help but hope he weill e-mail me back. I had a good weekend. My mom kept the baby Sat. so my husband and I spent lots of time together. I am so lucky to have hime. He is younger and better looking than OM but that spark is still missing. I am putting effort into this relationship but it is hard when I still think about OM alot. It has been only 3 days since I decided to move on and forget about OM. SO far it has not been easy but nobody said it would be.
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HANG IN THERE!
I know what you mean...I changed my screen name, but it is still tempting to add him back to my buddy list and say hello. We work together and he is ALWAYS on at work. We can do this! You've made your decision, now stick to it. You made the call to end things. Not only is that the right choice, but you are fortunate that you left while you were in control. It is much worse when THEY do the ending. Be proud of yourself for your decision and POST AWAY when you get weak.
Think about your baby and husband. You said you are lucky to have H- think about the consequences the affair could have on your marriage if you continue. I know what you mean, though. I love my H to death, but I also am missing that "spark." Unfortunately, the grass is always greener on the other side. That "spark" with OM is because it's a fantasy. You don't have to share a bathroom with OM or see him at his worst. The "spark" is from the chemical component of the addiction. It's endorphins, adrenaline, etc. It will fade with time.
Be strong, Sweetie! We're here for you!
Lily
My affair was for many years but I decided I wasn't going to do it any longer. The stress had gotten to me. I know its hard I am on 3months NC. I get sad at times but know that this is much better than lieing to myself and every one around us. Take it slowly okay. It takes time and soon you will feel better about your decison. If you care to talk just e-mail me at lifeiskind@yahoo.com oh i was wondering what little town you live in in GA?
Thank Again!
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You are right, it's not worth the damage this would cause to your marriage - it never is - just look at all of us here as examples.
Just let it lie. No, he didn't answer you, but that in itself says a lot. Let it go, really try to let it go and move on.
Hugs and much support to you. I know you can do this, we all can.
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Hang in there, you can do this!!!! I used to do the same things as you. I would go to his yahoo profile to see if he was online (after I deleted him from my Buddy list). Just seeing that he was would make me crazy....I would want to talk to him sooo bad. But I never did. It's been 4 months now, and I miss him still, but I don't need him anymore. The things I need are right in front of me. My awesome H and my two beautiful boys. Refocus your engeries. It's harder than H**L. But eventually the feelings get easier to deal with and you miss him less. Fill you life with other things. Your baby and your H first and foremost. I have found I love spending time w/ my H now, more than I had for the last few years. Maybe because I know now what I almost lost. Maybe because he knows I need more from him and now he's giving me what I need. Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if you need to. I have great faith that you will succeed. The boards are great for gathering strength.
Wishing you strength--sending Hugs :)
As for my H, he has been great. We had the "Divorce talk" a few weeks ago and I told him I was not happy. He has been making a real effort and I guess It is about time that I do too. Thank you everyone for being there. I seriously doubt I could do this without you. I will keep you posted.
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