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Please help!
| Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:56pm |
MM ended the A with me after almost 11 months being together, because he had guilt trips as to what he was doing behind his W's back.
Needless to say, he breaks off the A with me thru voicemail. Then he leaves me another voicemail 20 minutes later and says "Oh, but I still wanna be your friend and that I will never ignore you because I still wanna talk to you."
Can someone please explain to me why he would say this???? I mean, if we are thru, we are thru, why tell me he still wants to be my friend!? Could that mean a Booty Call just in case his guilt goes away.
Just curious!
Sadgirl

He doesn't want you to hate him and do something crazy! He knows better than to piss us off.
been in your shoes - my posts are scattered all over this board!
Hang in there!
XOXO
Hi Sadgirl,
I know it hurts (check on my posts) but you have the opportunity now to be the strong one. I know it doesnt look like that but see this man for what he is and isn't. He is trying to end it but it too weak to make it stick and doesn't want to be the bad guy. It will be alot easier for you if YOU are the one who says - call me when you are divorced - and walks away, head held high. It will hurt like a b&tch but at least you will feel a sense of control and self esteem. Do not allow him to pingpong back and forth between the wife and you.
Are you single? Personally, I feel it is a collosal waste of time for a single person to be making a married person's life tolerable by adding a little flavor on the side. As a single (divorced) person myself I feel I have the right to do that. Whether or not he is nice to you, your soulmate, etc - see this relationship for what it is - a waste of your time and having tremendous potential for heartbreak. There IS NO happy ending. You think getting him will be a happy ending? Think again.
Ivy
sadgirl,
u know what he meant, he just want to have sex whenever he wants it
change you phone number and move on with your life, if u are not married find a single guy
welcome to the board and take care,
max
Hi Ivy,
Thanks for the post. In answer to your question, I am MW. Yes A's are wrong, but obviously both MM and I went into it because we lack something at home.
We made it clear from the beginning that we are not in this to leave our spouses. I would never leave my H and I don't expect MM to leave his W either.
He hurt me bad. We had a good thing going for 11 months. Yes, we had ups and downs, but because of being in an A it makes it 10x harder to control this kind of relationship, especially when feelings are involved.
It just took me by total shock that he so bitterly ended it when last week I saw him twice, had IC with him twice, then I went away on vacation for 5 days, some back to work on Monday, I call him, he didn't pick up, then I left him a message and after several hours still no word from him. By this time I knew something was wrong. I had a really bad feeling about it. Then when I finally got a hold of him, he was VERY cold to me. I asked him if everything was alright and he said yes. Then the next morning he just leaves me a voice mail and ends it. Yes, no break up is happy, I admit that, but I went thru a LOT with this MM. It's too much to even list it here. We even got caught by his W back in January and after 5 days of NC he came back to me. So, he obviously had no guilt at that time, or else why take me back. He could have just left it at that.
He ends it with me now and tells me that he still wants to be my friend even after I felt like a disposable garbage. I read it several times on this board where the MM ends the A, then they still wanna keep a friendship going. Why? Has anyone remained friends with their MM's after the A ended???? Did the friendship remain in hopes for MM that maybe he can have a once in a while Booty Call, or something?
I feel like yes MM wants to end it, yet, he tells me in his vm how he still cares about me, loves me, and wants to be my friend....but why? If he wants to end it, then plain and simple just end it, why make it harder on me and tell me he still wants to talk to me. He was a coward to tell me in person it's over, yet he wants to face me in the near future as a friend.
Anyway. What's done is done. I don't know how strong I will be, haven't stopped crying since Monday and can't stop calling MM. Although he has responded to my calls, by leaving me vm's when he is heading out to work 4 a.m. in the morning, because he knows I won't pick up at that time.
>>"Could that mean a Booty Call just in case his guilt goes away."<
YES, and sorry to say thats what the whole thing was about for him from the word get go.