Please HELP, dreading tomorrow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Please HELP, dreading tomorrow.
13
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 11:03pm

Tomorrow I have a follow up appointment, I am so scared...so so scared. Scared to go, concerned about my health. Scared to walk in the building, the office etc...Last time I was there, I was with exAP. I am horribly saddened by this. I have to go-alone. I am worried about lashing out. Although I know we are both responsible, afterall it takes 2 to make one. But, I have had a rough couple of days, today I am feeling better. But i am just so nervous about tomorrow...and I have to go alone. Not that I would feel better if he were there, he is an a$$ and would be of little to no support.

I feel cheated that he goes about life and I have been erased and I have to deal with this on my own. I know this is a trigger or what have you but I just want to be strong and handle it. I was tempted (wont do) to send him an email. I know it would do no good and stroke his ego, even if i said things that were true...he would still think, she is think about me and I can not let him for a second think that, even tho I am.

I am really struggling. Please help. I need a plan for tomorrow. I am so scared I might lose it and do something stupid. I never wanted to even have the initial appt, felt like i had to to rid exAP of my life, which i have done...but that appt scares me for so many reasons.....

I have been strong and I am proud of my progress. I just do not want a set back...I could say so much more but I am crying and just hoping you all chime in. Should have posted something earlier for east coasters, its late now...west coasters may be around?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 4:40pm

I am so relieved to hear from you and that you

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 4:51pm

Hi Sienna,


I'm glad your experience at the doctors went well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 12:39pm

Tears poured down my cheeks as I read your post! Im proud of you too! Im still a newbie, so it was very uplifiting to hear your strenght and how far you have come. I look forward to that day! We have to keep moving, keep smiling, and keep counting our blessings! you were a blessing for me! thanks!

Pages