Please HELP, dreading tomorrow.
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| Mon, 01-11-2010 - 11:03pm |
Tomorrow I have a follow up appointment, I am so scared...so so scared. Scared to go, concerned about my health. Scared to walk in the building, the office etc...Last time I was there, I was with exAP. I am horribly saddened by this. I have to go-alone. I am worried about lashing out. Although I know we are both responsible, afterall it takes 2 to make one. But, I have had a rough couple of days, today I am feeling better. But i am just so nervous about tomorrow...and I have to go alone. Not that I would feel better if he were there, he is an a$$ and would be of little to no support.
I feel cheated that he goes about life and I have been erased and I have to deal with this on my own. I know this is a trigger or what have you but I just want to be strong and handle it. I was tempted (wont do) to send him an email. I know it would do no good and stroke his ego, even if i said things that were true...he would still think, she is think about me and I can not let him for a second think that, even tho I am.
I am really struggling. Please help. I need a plan for tomorrow. I am so scared I might lose it and do something stupid. I never wanted to even have the initial appt, felt like i had to to rid exAP of my life, which i have done...but that appt scares me for so many reasons.....
I have been strong and I am proud of my progress. I just do not want a set back...I could say so much more but I am crying and just hoping you all chime in. Should have posted something earlier for east coasters, its late now...west coasters may be around?

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I am so relieved to hear from you and that you
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Hi Sienna,
I'm glad your experience at the doctors went well.
Tears poured down my cheeks as I read your post! Im proud of you too! Im still a newbie, so it was very uplifiting to hear your strenght and how far you have come. I look forward to that day! We have to keep moving, keep smiling, and keep counting our blessings! you were a blessing for me! thanks!
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