Please HELP me with NC/LC at work!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009
Please HELP me with NC/LC at work!!!!!
5
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 12:43pm

Please help me with something;


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 12:46pm

Hi Life-


Plain and simple, you tell him you will no longer communicate with him on a personal level and that it needs to remain business only. I did this with my xap when I ended it... and then you have to prove that you mean business by shooting him down every time he comes around for a laugh. It will be hard, but you must do it. Your actions will speak louder than your words, so once you tell him, make sure you can back it up. This will take great strength, but if you truly have had enough, it is what you must do in order to break out of this cycle and move on.


Big Hugs to you. Please let us know what you decide to do.


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 1:13pm
When you are really ready to end this madness you will.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 1:30pm

You just do it.

You dig in and decide enough.

I just had to be alone with my xAP - after 25 days NC. I swear I could hear our hearts beating. It was awful - the pain from him palpable. I had to log on here and start reading my brains out. I just kept breathing, I just kept saying 'hold your ground'. After 45 minutes I was out of there to head to another meeting. And now, I am ok. It was brutal. But - I am done. So what has to be done, has to be done. The alternative is, I can't hold my ground, and I slip back in and therefore I will have to quit school and work.

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010
LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 3:08pm

LIGA,


You've been on this board now for a year so I hardly view you as a newbie. Yeah, maybe you're still acting like one, but by now you could have been a Vet.


<>


You have to be the one to set boundaries. You continue ignorng him, not respond to emails, and if he comes over and asks "What's up?" you tell him the truth. You tell him

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 4:02pm

Okay, you are so right....you are! I agree with you 100% and that is the main reason I am so annoyed and frustrated right now. I want to not ever go back there again. I want to prove to him so badly that I am done with it and I know my actions are the only thing that will do that.


I get on the wagon then fall off then get back up again, then fall off and I just want to be nothing but professional and nothing but all work with him day in and day out.


I have to get stern and grow some ba**s....I really do (in regards to him).


Thanks for the tough-love!! I needed to hear it! :)


Hugs -