Please Please Please Help Me Out!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Please Please Please Help Me Out!!!!
5
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 11:17am

hi all! I have been thinking about this all day.. didn't want to go to work anymore please help me out about what to do

.. well the problem started with that i was hired as a personal assistant to my boss and the job is required me to go many places with him including other town and cities. I thought that there would not be any problem when i first start my job 7 months ago because he got a family, wife and children and I am getting marry the end of this year. anyway in one of the last 2 months business trip he was drunk and so was I.. and we kissed. i felt horrible afterward because it was not right for me and i concerned the accident as very unprofessional so i decided to quite the job as a personal assistant. never go out the office with him anymore even the meeting outside office or the business trip. I was very confuse about my feelings.. anyway,

I just want to end it. and i chage to work in the office instead but still has to be under him. I did not want to talk to him much while figuring out myfeeling that why i kissed him while i am getting marry. anyway he tried hard to be nice to me and ask me to go out the office with him. i denied him all the time but he is so nice to me and i feel like i like him. anyway i really want to end this. what should i do? should i quite the job and how would i say the job quitting to my fiance'? I hates this feeling and I am getting marry with the man i love.. my fiance.. i don't want to hurt him and us but i know that if i stay in this company and office, i might fall for my boss invitation.. he is nice and funny.. well, my fiance' think this company is good for me ... what should i do.. I can't just immediately quite the job but I don't want anything to happen with my boss. Please help..

also how to have a conversation with the boss these day because i don't want him to have a wrong impression that i am ok with it when i am just trying to keep it simple.. but he is so funny so sometime can't help to talk more.

Plese Please Please Help me
Kathy

Kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 11:53am

Kat

First your BOSS is not nice he is a MANIPULATOR he wants this out of office to sleep with you he is a SLUG.

If you can transfer to a different department if not and you cannot muster the character to say no to the MANIPULATOR then QUIT the job, what ever you do do not get married until you have addressed the reasons you did this, it may just be an expression of cold feet or it may be something more serious, consider individual counceling to help dig out the root couse of your action.

OH and when around this man that abuses his position in his company DO NOT DRINK PERIOD.

JMHO

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 11:12pm

Kat,

quit your job, if u cant , say no to him and if he still puruse u, i say "sexual harrassment" is the word

he just wants to have his cake and eat it too

pls be careful,

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 1:27am

The alcohol weakened your defenses. Come right out and tell your boss that it was a mistake and in order to continue working for him, "It can NEVER happen again." If he's truly a good guy, he will agree. If he jokes it off, then he's a jerk and I would give him notice. Then tell your fiance that although it appeared to be a good company, it did not meet up to your expectations.

<<>>

Don't fall for anything. Tell you boss upfront that you are NOT available.

Good luck,

Id

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:44am

Hi all..thank you for the suggestions and advices.. I have been thinking about this a lot and about what i really want. well i have make up my mind that really i didn't want to continue the job. I think that I might give him the notice this coming week that i will finish the job the end of this month,

last time i made a mistake as when i quit the job then.. my boss kept on calling me to go back everyday and sending me emails to apologize.. that's why i decided to go back (as i mentioned that not as the personal assistant but the office job). However..

this time i hope to be strong enough and not turn back.. will let you know what happen and really thank you again for all advices..I appreciate them a lot

Wish me luck!

cheers,
Kathy

Kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:53am

I'll wish you luck but I don't think you are going to need it. You appear wise beyond your years and your fiance is a very lucky man to have found such a gem. Make sure you constantly remind him of that ;)

Peace,

Id