please..has anyone here ever told?
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please..has anyone here ever told?
| Sat, 06-12-2004 - 11:28am |
my affair was over 4 months ago when my h found out...i did my utmost to protect the om 7 his fiance...however w/ his wedding approaching on my birthday no less...& news of him having a new affair...this man had called me his true love....& more & more celebratory news surrounding him...i snapped....i warned him 2x & he didn't respond...i thought it out & asked advice everywhere...i finally did it...i did it with a bang & most likely couldve been more subtle,but as a friend said...that's just not the way you do things susan.this man is angry that my best friend didn't protect him from me & give him a warning...altho i gave the warnings myself.he thinks that i broke...in his words...some secret code of conduct...i even asked a man who i know cheats on his wife & this man said i did the best thing....not one person i know disagrees w/ me xcept for the new pain & doubt it caused me...my h wants to know if it wouldve been better had he told but altho at 1st i thought in hindsite that i shouldve...it wouldve created an irrepairable rift between h & i.......sometimes i lay awake at night & think i'm scum...but the releif i feel is incredible too.this man claims no one in their right mind would have ever done what i did...there isn't a woman on earth...so i ask....is there anyone out there like me...who NEEDED to set themselves free.....?

I personaly did not but have read a good many posts on the ivillage board(s) were women had to because they could not move on in there marriage or life tell they put things right in there own minds, so your not alone.
By the way XOM sounds like a real turkey, you don't owe him anything at all and certainly not somesort of twisted loyalty.
LUCK
Free
he resents that i am still married & he has been left.altho i asked him...what is it youre more upset about..that she left you or that you don't have your double life anymore?one is attracted to what they need,i beleive...his fiance was 100% trusting...he was never home.if they do marry...it's fine w/ me b/c he feels that he could give up his free time & wandering & even his carreer if he had her back...i cannot imagine.i would have been content for him to have a lifetime of "whereareyougoings...ohnoyouarenot".i told him that he lost a rare jewel(just about the total trust part) in her & he lost an incredible gem in me.he says that it was ME who ruined her life & his.i don't know what to feel.
One thing I have learned in life is that we own are decisions and the consequences of them, you have accepted your responsibility, now XMM needs to do the same, he ruined his life all by himself with his serial CHEATING before you got sucked into his trap.
He lost that nice trusting lady, to bad so sad for him but it is his own fault, And I think she was VERY LUCK that someone told here the truth about that turkey before she wasted 5 - 10 years then found herself divorced.
It is time to move forward with your life you can't do that looking back.
BE WELL
Free